My new job
It's all going rather well, I'm working with a half-decent mix of nerds who are just about bearable, and some nice sexy temps, but I have one little complaint.

This is the first job I've had where we get to have the radio on at work, and if I have to listen to 'These girls fall like dominoes, dominoes, dominoes' or any other indie shite again, I'm going to force the radio down my manager's throat.

What's pissing you off at work today?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:45, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

being at work is about the only thing
the day has been better than expected.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:46, Reply)

You smug cunt
'dominoes, dominoes, dominoes'
'dominoes, dominoes, dominoes'
'dominoes, dominoes, dominoes'
'dominoes, dominoes, dominoes'
'dominoes, dominoes, dominoes'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:47, Reply)

here mate
that sounds like a veritable dream...why don't you try a diet of lady ga-ga's 2 shitty hits, poke her face and proper-nazi, on repeat, everyday, for what seems like an eternity....if she does have a cock i'm gonna kick it off and stick it up her/his stinkhole
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Gaga gets played on Xfm too
The world's full of cunts
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:49, Reply)

I found you a bourbon.
Does that help?
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:51, Reply)

It does, a little
but now I need tea as well.

Chop-chop
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I'd like some chop-chop
I'm fucking flagging
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:00, Reply)

chop-chop
dig-dig
chop-chop
dig-dig
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:02, Reply)

easy now
i'm sure you would be more relieved with a nice line of ovaltine


rack em up!!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Chop chop the cute little lamb
But no tea for you.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:04, Reply)

That
I have to be here at all, mainly. I've fuck all to do but can't go til 5:30 because the swipe card nazi will send me a snidey email about not fulfilling my hours.
(berk, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Give your card to somebody trustworthy
and have them swipe you out at the end of the day.

Return the favour when needed, they scratch your back, you scratch theirs, til it all ends in sexy disciplinary hearings.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:55, Reply)

The boss is being rather shouty

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:55, Reply)

This is what fag breaks and earphones are for

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:56, Reply)

I don't get them.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 15:59, Reply)

it's a simple concept
you put them in your ears and music comes out of them - kind of like tiny speakers
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Ha!

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:02, Reply)

You're not supposed to 'get' them
you're supposed to 'take' them
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Remember
It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:08, Reply)

GIRL

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:09, Reply)

wise words
get the kettle on, i'll skin up.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:09, Reply)

non smoking business property
I can smoke in my car when I'm running errands but not at work
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

What I'm working on isn't going well
it has no middle.

A bit like a skinny woman - Cheryl Cole if you will - great face, nice legs but nothing worth having in between.

That's what I've done.

And figuratively speaking I'm a chubby chaser - I want Beth Ditto on the page, not Cheryl Twig-woman.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:10, Reply)

I find CC's face and music offensive

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Now you see my dilema
I don't want to have her staring back from the page at me.

Not even a metaphorical Cheryl.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Hahahaha
chickenlady spelled dilemma wrong!
chickenlady spelled dilemma wrong!

Leave your writing job in SHAME
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:20, Reply)

Bugger
*hangs head in shame*

*kicks spell checker*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 17:40, Reply)

There are no dogs to kick. I need to kick a dog until it sicks a rainbow.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:10, Reply)

I'm clickin' I like this
but it means NOTHING here
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Gonz is getting a dog
I reckon Gonz's dog would sick eh most awesomest rainbows EVAH.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:29, Reply)

*ahem*
I'm getting a dog too!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:31, Reply)

I recommend you get a minature dachshund
it'd suit you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Nope, they hump EVERYTHING!! Oh I see.
I want a german shep! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:33, Reply)

yes
*high fives*

I'd like one too. or a siberian husky
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I would also like a husky
but they just need so much exercise, it wouldn't be fair to have one in London. When I move out of London I'm deffo getting a husky! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:37, Reply)

a german shepherd would need loads too
*waggles finger*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Yup
But not as much, plus my dad is a dog handler so can help me out with the training etc, his doggie is lovely! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

splendid
a mate of mine has a husky. It's lovely. softest fur ever.

we recorded some stuff with my band at his house, and on some of the recordings you can hear the dog singing along.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Hehe make it a band member!! :D
They are lovely dogs and have such a nice temperament too!

My mums dog is a beagle and shes nuts, I don't want one of them.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I like beagles
but wouldn't have one for the same reason.

my mum has a yellow labrador. we had one when we were growing up too. amazing dogs.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

They are very cute but also mental
She can't be taken off the lead that much as she runs away and she has short dog syndrome and barks at anything bigger than her.

Aww labradors are nice, they are the second option, I've never had one before so I'm not too sure on how they are etc. My family have had three german sheps, a beagle and a samoyed, I found the sheps easiest to train and deal with.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

labradors are really nice
mostly not mental, clever, good temperament. get a female one though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

I thought you were ignoring me
little miss I can fit an exclamation mark into my mimsy?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Nah
I said, I couldn't actually ignore any of you, it was an empty threat.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:36, Reply)

You make me sick. Sick rainbows.

( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:33, Reply)

I make you sick!?
*cries*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:36, Reply)

RAINBOWS!

( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:37, Reply)

From her mimsy
with extra exclamation marks.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:40, Reply)

*hits al
with an exclamation point*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:45, Reply)

point mark
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

JUST LIKE THIS!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I'm at work
what is in this link *fears*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

it's fucking brilliant

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Lovely norks!

( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)

I think I captured them just right.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

*looks*
Dear lord, you have too much free-time!

*crowbars*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

I think it's some of my best work.
actually I tell a lie. This is my best work.


(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I agree
and now I'm going home

have a good weekend
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 17:01, Reply)

THIS IS INDEED YOUR BEST WORK

( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 17:02, Reply)

I think I'll
wait until home time through fear of someone seeing and getting me. I shall assume its wrong.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:55, Reply)

It's totaly SFW
Well, i'm 99% sure it would be considered SFW by virtually everyone.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Do you want some of this?
*hits Vipros with a crowbar*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

*vibrates until blurry*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Is that good?
:S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Of course it is.
My office now looks lovely.
( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Hooray!
:D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

he's going to get a shit small yappy type dog though
lame. I'd rather be kicked in the dick until I sicked rainbows.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Why does everybody love Gonz so much?
I really need to know
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Hey there, you filthy bitch.
I responded to the QOTW.
Your turn.
( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Oh sorry
I thought this reply was in response to DonkeyGums.

You want to know my fetishes?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

I want to see you craft a response to the question.

( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Oh okay
I'll think about it over the weekend and unleash something on monday for you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:59, Reply)

*excites*

( thealternativefact, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Have to say
probably the guy who came in and shat himself. Yep. That pissed me off.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 20:57, Reply)