I have a ridiculously hairy back
and i am seriously thinking about enlisting my good lady to help shave it to fuck. It is now coming round the sides to meet the belly/chest hair and has crept upward to meet the fucking hair on my head, which means i cant wear any loose collared tops as the hair sprigs make me look like a hairy backed rapist.

Up until now i was not self conscious about it at all, but after going to the baths a few weeks back i noticed that not one, NOT ONE of the gentleman swimmers had a back like a fucking mountain gorilla. Then I was checking some pictures from about 10 years ago and there I was, my back was completely hairless, and i must admit it did look better.

So, should i pay a load of money to get it waxed, clipper it down then shave it, or let it take over my whole body. Like a big, hairy body minge.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:04, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If your good lady doesn't mind then why should you?

( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:06, Reply)

It's unpleasant
It feels like you're wearing a mohair vest, it makes you sweat more than you should, and it sometimes gets itchy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Ah I see.
*tries to imagine having a hairy back*
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)

ah yes
the hairy back. it's behind me so I forget about it. fortunately mine is only coming over the shoulders to join the chest, rather than up the neck or round the sides. it's horrid though. chest hair is fine, but back hair is fucking awful.

I'm not sure about the shaving route. it just means you have to do it all the time.

If you are going with waxing I recommend getting stoned first. It helps a lot.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)

One of my pals is a gorilla like you
He had his back waxed and his girlfriend didn't even notice.

Mind you he's a big fat sweaty ginger and she's thick as pigshit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:11, Reply)

hahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:11, Reply)

hahaha, the ginger cunt
Well, the missus doesn't mind, but maybe that is a reverse psychological ploy to make me a lot less appealing to other women.

Even at the hairdressers the other week the Turkish barber asked if I wanted my back hair trimmed, at the nape of my neck obviously..i agreed, and gave him a £1 tip, then fled with my shame.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Same as
I use clippers and Veet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)

does the veet not sting a bit?
and once you commence on this path, how often does it have to be repeated?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

You have to use it more often as you get older
I use it about once a month, but should probably use it once a week.

Follow the instructions and don't use it anywhere sensitive, it's never hurt me before, just don't leave it on for too long.

Next on the agenda, Sex Tips for Girls
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)

hmmm, veet....
my other half's sister is using one of those home laser things, which apparently works quite well. once she's done with that I'm going to laser the hell out of my back.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I'm thinking about home electrolysis
would it work if I put my toaster in the bath with me?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)

I'm certain it would work

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)

I'll do it tonight and post the results tomorrow
when I'm fabulously hair-free
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Electroysis would take fucking ages.
You have to zap each single hair and often more than once. Lazer treatment is best but very expensive.
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:22, Reply)

how many laser pointers would I need to sellotape together
to make a powerful enough beam?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:23, Reply)

WOAH!
that electrolysis thing is VERY painful apparently and not really designed for many thousands of hairs...i think it is more suited to female facial hair and possibly clunge fur. It would take months to do a whole back, well, mine anyway.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)

electrolysis and the laser thing are different
you can do whole legs and stuff with the laser thing, so a back should be no problem.

takes time is all, but I figure it's worth it in the long run
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:24, Reply)

sounds like a plan
some before and after pics would brighten the place up a bit as well.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)

One of my friends is currently having her
legs lasered... she said it was incredibly painful the first time, but she has been back twice now and it wasn't as scary the second time around... I think she has to have four sessions in total! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:46, Reply)

a little bit of pain never hurt anyone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Amen, brother

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:54, Reply)

I would normally say that
But she is a bit of a double-hard-bastard so I was really shocked when she said it hurt her! *fears*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Oct 2009, 14:59, Reply)

That's a Bert quote!

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:37, Reply)

what about "Pain is weakness leaving the body"?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Confuscious, I think

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:44, Reply)

superb
i may well pass this off as my own at a later date
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:51, Reply)

It was actually the Marines
They used it first.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:53, Reply)

I think you'll find it's Dexter Fletcher
in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:51, Reply)

in that case, maybe not

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Stick your bloody mockney films
up your fat, octogenarian arse, Geezer
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:53, Reply)

From experience
My advice

Wax: too painful, but you get to do it less often every time
Shave: no pain, but you end up having to do it every day
Laser: a bit of pain, but not much (not the one by one hair thing, the laser) and you end up not having to do it at all after a while (might take 1 or 2 years to get it all gone, with a session every 3 months at the beginning and less often every time)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 27 Oct 2009, 17:24, Reply)