Fun With The Neighbors
So, as the local Single Guy, I find that I'm under a lot of scrutiny over here. For a time I was renting out a room to a female engineer from Thailand who lives about an hour and a half from here and drives a brand new Mercedes, so she was checked out very thoroughly by one and all. (She's married and has a nice house in Virginia Beach, but rented out from me to save wear on her car and to reduce her drive time.) I explained the situation to the friendly couple across the street, but have continued to be silent to The Choad next door.

Then my daughter got a Geo Tracker, and one of my son's friends moved in with me. Two new cars added to the mix. And then I got that red Mazda Miata, and suddenly I'm an object of fascination to The Choad.

Through a series of odd circumstances, I'm helping a woman who's a friend of a friend sell off a load of stuff from her ex husband. Mostly it's been furniture and antiques and odd collectibles (I've been feeling like Lovejoy as I flog this stuff around the town), but now she's also asked me to arrange sale of a pistol and two shotguns. The smaller shotgun was immediately sold, and I'll soon be rid of the pistol- but the Mosberg 12 gauge is a little more of a challenge. I think I may have someone lined up for it, though, so I brought it home tonight.

I made sure that The Choad saw me taking it out of the Miata as I talked to my daughter with it slung carelessly over my shoulder. The expression on his face was priceless.

I expect the neighborhood to get far quieter now.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 21 Nov 2009, 21:46, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Awesome
Quite honestly, regardless of how many cars you had in your drive, your hot body would be enough to have me twitching the curtains at any opportunity, and the thought of you with a a shotgun slung carelessly over your shoulder, well, that's enough to have me spontaneously creaming my pants as I write this.

One question though, what's a Choad?
(Bazongaloid, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 0:21, Reply)

_____THE____ Choad.....
That's some hard shit mother fucker, mother fucker be as hard as shit, yahgetsme?

Man, this red bull is like doing a line of coke.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 1:15, Reply)

Urban Dictionary to the rescue.
Here is a page of definitions- but basically a dick that's wider than it is tall.

It suits him well.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 22 Nov 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Is your daughter fit?
Would you give her one if she wasn't your daughter?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 1:22, Reply)

Like if she was your niece or something.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 1:22, Reply)

Once you've seen TRL
you wouldn't be interested in his daughter.
(Bazongaloid, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

She's quite fit
but she's also uncommonly smart, and can be very sarcastic and smart-ass. (Think of Daria.) Boys either are fascinated by her or fear her.

One good look at me when I give them a watch-what-you're-doing grin and they leave a vapor trail. I don't need a shotgun to look scary.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 22 Nov 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Would you let me take her out to the pictures and mcdonalds?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 15:31, Reply)