I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, to be honest.
I do hope you're not deluding yourself into thinking that the anti-phsycs won't be effected by wed, esspeicaly with the sckitzo stuff.

I won't berate (is that the right word?) you about it, you know what a fuck up you are (at the moment) without me saying anything. I know it's harsh, but Maning Up really is the awnser, go and get a job or something to occupie your time. It'll increase your self worth and esteem, put some money in your pocket (debts? you can sort them too, another thing off your head), meet a new crowd who don't do that sort of shit, and maybe start a _normal_ life.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 18:36, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

these are some wise words

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 18:46, Reply)

Totally could do with a job
Just scared of the idea - had so many go wrong in the last ten years. And could totally do with a new crowd. Really ought to drink less too.

And yeah, I know that weed does have psychological downsides - I'm not deluding myself there, and I wonder if the reason I can handle it so well is because I take anti-psychotics. That really is a pathetic scenario - the idea that I could be off the meds were it not for the weed. I also wonder if I smoke so much these days to offset the side-effects.

Yeah I need to apply for jobs, and take something that doesn't look too awful, and coincide starting with giving up toking for one last time.. I've done it before and almost managed it, so I'll try again.

Your reasoning is quite apt.

Anyway, enough. This is getting emo and I could be on a mental health board, not here, not that those sites have been at all useful in the past - full of shitcunts.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 18:53, Reply)

Its a good thing you tried this on OT
instead of /talk
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 18:55, Reply)

totally
think there's room for a bit of problem-sharing here, but it's a good thing it's tempered by the site in general (including /talk), or else it could turn into the kind of sentimental wailing-n-gnashing-n-cyberhugging mess that is the average mental health message board, which just doesn't help.

I'm actually embarrassed at the response, and glad no-one is berating - that's as bad as offering internet cake or whatever.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 19:04, Reply)

Berating you would be counter-productive.
There's no sense in making you feel bad for something you already know you need to fix - you've identified the problem and want to fix it.
( Maladicta, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 19:18, Reply)

I got as good as an excuse to not work as I think you can get, without extream circamstance.
- I can get a lifetime sicknote on the dole
- For at least 4 hours of the day, I need to be within (less than 3-5 minuites) from a bog
- In quite a bit of pain.
- mental issues.

And for years, since I left school, because of these, I ran my own buisness, with the ups'n'downs that involved, and last year I got a little part time work, that I've loved'n'hated, just to see if I could. Turns out, I can, I probably can't do full time, but it's taught me a lot of things about myself, and now I know I can do it, I can push for something bigger.

You're holding yourself back with excuses, and nothing is going to change unless you do change it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 19:39, Reply)

good for you gonz

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 19:40, Reply)

that's pretty awesome
when just out of hospital fresh from the breakdowns and sectionings (8 years ago) I used to play the "I'm mental" card as an excuse not to have to do stuff.

I'm realising it's much more healthy to think of myself in normal terms - I'm just a decadent lush and could get on with life as well as others, just about, were I to turn my drinking and smoking down to normal levels. I claim DLA and feel rather guilty about it.

Anyway, you're right and good for you - better to try and make something of yourself despite whatever you've got upstairs - everyone has got something.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 19:55, Reply)

At the end of the day, the world always turns.
And the way I'm feelin' 'bout it right now, is that there is no point in wasting, i'ld hate to be 30 and in the same boat I'm in now, and that's gonna happen if I don't change something.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 20:28, Reply)