Having been at shitloads of weddings
admittedly mostly in 'band member at the reception' capacity, there are lots of things I could specify for my own wedding, were it to happen:

1 - minimise the time between the wedding ceremony itself and sitting down to eat. There's nothing worse than that hour and a half of dead space where people have to chat awkwardly to elderly great aunts etc. How long does it take to do a couple of photos anyway?

2 - Have the meal before the speeches. That way, the caterers can serve at a set time, and not have to wait around until the best man's finished rabbiting on about how I got my cock out at some inappropriate moment in the past.

3 - Allow longer than most folk might think for the meal. Time and time again I've been in the band at a wedding where the meal's at 5, say, and they expect to start dancing at 7. Not a chance. Allow two hours at the minimum for the meal, and a good hour for turnaround to let the staff clear the room and the band set up.

4 - Make the reception no longer than 4 hours. It's a long day, and old folk and kids will be wanting to go home to bed. I've been at too many weddings where the reception dies a death because the bride and groom (or whoever's organising the reception) think that 7.30 till 1 is a good length for the reception dance, but almost everyone's buggered off by 11.

I could probably think of more.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:23, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

All good points
I would also add in:

Really really really think about any songs you want playing at the reception. Make sure the band/DJ knows when to play them because a few were missed out at mine and I was gutted as people kept chucking in requests and I missed jumping around to Gay Bar with my friend Charlie! Booooo!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:34, Reply)

Setting the set list in Jan with the band

The band will also learn songs specially for the day, Angel of Death here we come!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Cool stuff
Makes sense to get them in there early!

I also gave our DJ a list of songs that if I heard them playing I would kill him with a tray... they were mainly The Grease Megamix and other shockers! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:49, Reply)

that is a fantastic idea

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Come on Eileen
makes me feel queasy. Were I ever fortunate enough to get married that fucker would be VERBOTEN. 'Brown Sugar' is a fucking weird song to have as a wedding regular, I've always thought.

'Woo, we've got married! Anyone know any songs about white slave plantation savagery in the deep south?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

I'm tempted to get a beach boys cover band for my wedding
it'd be awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

They'd have to be a good band though, eh?
Hearing some bastards murdering 'God Only Knows' and missing the high notes could be the most excruciating experience of your life. Great idea though. Particularly with your surfing connections.

You should meet my dad - he was a surfer in the early 60s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

these folk are good
www.brightonbeachboys.com/

got the guy who plays Danny in Withnail and I in it, and they've played a party at a mate's farm not far away....

'I can hear music' is most likely what we'd have for first dance, so it makes sense.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

Go for it
My family aren't the type to have a band or DJ at a wedding. My sister's was extremely formal.

I'd have an entirely separate party for my friends and DJ myself, were I to marry, so that my prim and proper relatives wouldn't see the company I keep...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

mine is mostly going to be a party
very very informal. food will be large chunks of meat and bread.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:07, Reply)

We are having a reception of the old codgers
and then a party in the evening for the hip young things, woop!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:14, Reply)

That would be my way, too
Keep family and friends well apart. That way they will still be my friends the next day...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

I shall have to respectfully disagree
With point 4. It depends what people are expecting. Went to a wedding in Germany this summer, where it's apparently it's de rigeur to have the ceremony around lunchtime, do all the pictures, let everyone go away for a little lie down (probably with less sleeping in the case of the bride and groom) and bring them back at about 6 in the evening, to keep going until the same sort of time the following morning.

In this particular case, many pickled singer types + steinway + free bar til 6am = fun times.
(Concrete Cow, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 17:37, Reply)