Monty, if you had a beautiful ex-model girlfriend/wife
you could also attain that much sought after 'edginess' to your stand up routine...but i doubt neither you or I could organise AND headline a festival though. Come on, lets keep our feet firmly on the ground here, unless we are flying helicopters of course.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:26, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

A look at those mouldy old baps every morning
would remove any sense of humour I might have, before the day had properly begun - it would take a herculean effort to ever crack even a tiny smile - let alone deliver an edgy standup routine.

I think the poor fellow is to be applauded for putting on such a brave, albeit haggard, face.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:36, Reply)

It may have been driving all those fast cars
that made him go all 'Droopy Dog', and obviously the marathon sex sessions with his ex-model girlfriend/wife/sister/pet.

I see she sits for private srtists, is that another of saying she is being pimped out by Captain Leathery Chops?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:43, Reply)

maybe the deafening applause
at his miserable Pink Floyd tribute shows has caused his facial muscles to collapse?

WE JUST DON'T KNOW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:46, Reply)

With your lifestyle, you'll look like that one day. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:48, Reply)

with my lifestyle, I'll be fucking DEAD
and good riddance to me. I never liked me anyway, smartarse pedantic cunt...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Aw! you'll be missed.
You smartarse, pedantic cunt you.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:56, Reply)

you developing a soft spot for our monty?
will he have to vie with chompy for your affections?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:00, Reply)

it was the Keats earlier
They FACKIN LOVE IT, they do
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I think BGB could 'entertain' both of them
and still have the energy to fix her xpelair
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:06, Reply)

probably right
I bet she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

In the interests of science
I am prepared to put myself forward as a guinea pig, if you will, to test this theory. It's my selfless quest for knowledge, donchaknow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:11, Reply)

are you a golf ball?
or a garden hose?

if not then I fail to see how that will work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

well, silhouetted,
it looks a bit like the former, stuck on the end of the latter...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

at least he won't be such an insufferably smug cunt about it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Let's ask the cunt

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)