For the past 20 years
my brother and I have taken it in turns to behave disgracefully and upset our long-suffering mother. This usually happens on Christmas Eve when we'd go into the town centre and inevitably end up seeing folks we haven't seen for a year and got drunk.

One year we were so hammered I remembered I had some coke in my room and my brother ran the gauntlet to get it. He was frog-marched into the sitting room to greet my grandmother, all the while protesting that it wasn't a good idea. He then practically collapsed in front of her and was chased off down the drive by our mother, genuinely brandishing a rolling pin.

Another year I threw up out of the window at my father's, where it congealed and then froze all over a tree outside his front door, creating a truly grotesque Christmas tree, that got worse as it defrosted.

Last year my bro embarked on an ill-advised racist rant in front of our Canadian cousins...who are living over here working as social workers for the deprived and struggling immigrants of London.

I could go on (I already have). This year I really do want to break this cycle - particularly as it's 'my turn'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:25, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is great.
I look forward to your post-festivities report.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Excuse the Internet gayness but...
Monty, I want to get out on the pop/chizzle with you. It sounds a bit ace, like!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Everyone wants a go on Monty.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Oh good
I thought it was just me.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:10, Reply)

My last long-term girlfriend had a bit of a breakdown
My brother caught up with her dad at a wedding, who told him 'I don't blame Monty, but I think it's best they aren't together any more. She tried, but she just couldn't keep up with him'.


SO BE WARNED.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Ha
I see. Crumbs. Well, I reckon I'd do alright. Bit out of practice though. Might get some in for over Crimble, get my tolerance back up. If you're ever up in Manchester give us a shout!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

It happens from time to time- I'll gaz you if I am coming up

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Genius
:D
( djtrialprice, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:40, Reply)