Can you not just not turn up?
Tell grandad during the day that evil auntie can go piss up a rope (the old folk love a potty mouth) and at the last minute tell auntie you can't make it because you've been arrested for public indecency (or some other excuse).
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:44, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I'm thinking of feigning illness after half an hour.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:48, Reply)

But then you've still got to do the journey there and back
Much better to feign illness half an hour before?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

They'll know that's a lie
So log as I spend limited time there, I'll consider it a success.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

There's our disconnect
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if evil auntie knew I was lying. Indeed, I would choose a very bad lie just to rub it in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I would just say I'm not going
but me, my mum and my dad are going to act as a unit.
There will be a family row if they don't go, and we can't go having feuds as grandad probably doesn't have long.
We'll just distance ourselves from them after he dies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

distance ourselves from themhave a massive punch-up
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

*puts sovereigns on*
Bring it!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)