Oh no it's 21st December!
I have to work today, tonight, and then tomorrow until 6pm.
That leaves me only Wednesday to do everything that still remains on my 'Christmas Tasks List'. I'm not stressed because I'm really enjoying a very chilled run-up to Christmas, and figure that Chrimbo will still happen whether or not I run round like a blue-arsed fly.

Bad news is that my aunty has summoned us all to Grandad's house Christmas night as it will probably be his last Christmas. We're going up there in the daytime too, and neither me, mum, nor dad want to go again in the night. Grandad can't even be arsed with it all, and it will be hell getting there and back, but the old cow wants it so it will happen. It's gonna be cold and boring. We could re-create our usual Christmas evening on Boxing night but it would throw everything into chaos and means I'll miss my cat for another night.

So, which family member would you murder if you knew you could get away with it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:14, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My evil grandmother.
She's had a good innings so it's no big loss.


I made it into work today, Woo to me! I'm such a trooper. I had to drive at 25-30 miles an hour all the way and concentrated so hard that my brain hurt.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Oh well done
I have trouble enough walking in this weather.
I would not last 30 seconds in a car!

I have two aunties I would happily choke.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Later today I have to help my mum do the Christmas shopping in the supermarket of DOOOOOOOOOM.
I'm hoping most people stayed home today so I don't have to punch anyone.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Christ. Good luck.
People are insane right now...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:39, Reply)

My mum...
I always wanted to answer a question like that - thanks.

Oh... and all my wife's family.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:43, Reply)

You're welcome!
I think my mum's planning a bit of homicide for some of my dad's side of the family at the mo...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Maybe she could kill my in-laws...
...and save me a journey?

(The are psuedo-posh 'woolies' on the Wirral.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Oh my favourite kind of woollies!!!!
KILL KILL KILL
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Yep.
And they've got 'nothing but total respect for Annie Lennox'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:02, Reply)

It would be nice if they were due to go on the Crystal Maze
and, erm... you know...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Got shot in the face.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

My Mum
And I did

*runs*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Can you not just not turn up?
Tell grandad during the day that evil auntie can go piss up a rope (the old folk love a potty mouth) and at the last minute tell auntie you can't make it because you've been arrested for public indecency (or some other excuse).
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:44, Reply)

I'm thinking of feigning illness after half an hour.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:48, Reply)

But then you've still got to do the journey there and back
Much better to feign illness half an hour before?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

They'll know that's a lie
So log as I spend limited time there, I'll consider it a success.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

There's our disconnect
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if evil auntie knew I was lying. Indeed, I would choose a very bad lie just to rub it in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I would just say I'm not going
but me, my mum and my dad are going to act as a unit.
There will be a family row if they don't go, and we can't go having feuds as grandad probably doesn't have long.
We'll just distance ourselves from them after he dies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

distance ourselves from themhave a massive punch-up
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

*puts sovereigns on*
Bring it!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Ooo! Brittany Murphy is dead.
I suspect an eating disorder is to blame.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I reckon teh drugz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Maybe a bit of both.
Sokay though. She is wiv da angels now.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:53, Reply)

The Queen of Hearts will look after them all

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Jade Goody?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:57, Reply)

NO. She's the Essex Princess
omg i cant bleev u dissd da ppl's princess lik dat.
I meant DIANA!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Dana's Dead?
*Sobs*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:01, Reply)

No.
It was Dido.
YAY!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Di died...Dodi died.
Dido must be shitting herself.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Reading that joke on alt.tasteless
Was how I found out she had died :-)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:08, Reply)

you forgot the bit about Dando

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Lynette 'Squeeky' Fromme

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:15, Reply)