I concur with everything said . . .
and to add . . .

I've been there *
The "I can't do better - he's a shit but he's all I have." The "He's nasty sometimes, but I'm sure deep down, really deep down, he cares about me . . . he's just having a little bit of fun before he settles down; he'll realize soon that I'm the one who's been waiting patiently whilst he sorts himself out."

One word: BULLSHIT

No man worth their salt needs "space", "time", "freedom" or other euphemism for "I want to fuck around" if their heart's in the right place, and if they truly care about their partner.

It hurts to realize you've invested time, effort, emotion in someone who doesn't give a shit . . . and it makes you angry when you see they aren't hurt, or grieving at all.

But when you can finally look back in pity and say to yourself "You sad, sad bastard - you've lost something, and I've gained my self-worth." Then, that's a wonderful day - life feels good again, and you look for things that make you happy . . . not resign yourself to "making do" with someone who is clearly a selfish bastard (ad adjectives as needed here).

Take the first step and tell him to fuck off, no calls, no messages, no mail, no contact. A clean break, with no chance at reconciliation. Have a couple of weeks (or more) to grieve, then take a deep breath and go out into the wonderful world and find out what makes you happy.

And good luck - you'll come out the other end with much more, though that seems very far away right now . . .

Mrs Legless - Anna

(*In the years BL: Before Legless)

Oh, and the "friends" who are with him - they aren't really friends are they? They need the boot too . . .
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Tue 22 Dec 2009, 23:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

AGREE
No one who really cares for anyone treats them like shit. It seems to me more of a power trip than love, just like rape is more about power than sex. I don't mean to be out of line or insult you. I think from what you have written you may really care about him, but does he really care about you or does he care about his ego.

I've been treated the same way and it does really hurt but I am so glad to be free of the evil ego queen and to have found someone who cares about me as much as I care about her and doesn't use me for an ego boost or whatever else.

Take care of yourself! (You are a sweetheart).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 0:10, Reply)