I'm a bit of an expert on exams. As I'm sure you understand.
so here's my plan...
1)Be exceedingly knowledgable about everything.
2)Get a wife and child.
3)Be right about everything on the internet, especially when not on the internet.
4)Develop the inability to pass any container of alcohol, especially open ones.
5)It's already lunchtime so let's just have a little drink of vodka or gin. It's allright, the wife won't find out if you don't tell her, it can be our little secret.
6)Bang some things with spanners and rip off the old ladies.
7)Spend the money on whisky. or gin. or maybe vodka.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:39, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I promise to follow these to the letter and see if I can become as much of a figure of hatred as you

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Hatred is the highest form of flattery.
All that effort people go to on my account.
Amazing.
I'm not really surprised, everyone is just jealous of me and my drinking.
I'm a little bit thirsty.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:43, Reply)

What an odd chap.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Do you not like the occasional drink?
just a little glass of vodka or two.
or maybe some gin?
the money i make ripping off old ladies comes in very handy.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Sherry ftw

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

my grandparents used to have a cat called Sherry
interesting huh?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Not really, but thanks for playing

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:03, Reply)

I only just remembered it
so had to get it out there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Aww sharing ONLINE
bless
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:07, Reply)

i fancy some cointreau.
then i can just tell the wife i've been eating oranges and she won't suspect a thing.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Put it on pancakes and make her sozzled too

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:03, Reply)

she doesn't drink much so that'll work really well.
then when she's passed out on the floor i can get to the pub.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Firm handshakes

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Put your cock away

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Firm handshakes back.
OMG i love cointreau nearly as much as vodka, but i prefer the taste of vodka.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:10, Reply)

"Develope" What the fuck does that mean? It looks like a retard's spelling of "Develop", god, you're so thick.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:54, Reply)

IT'S SPELY WHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!111!">23!1!!!
*inhaler*
(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:57, Reply)

A develope is an antelope made of rage

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

it's like an antelope
mindpiss (almost)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Woah!
And I almost put escalope too, but changed my mind...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:01, Reply)

we're like this me and you
*does two finger gesture between eyes*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Is that like 'fingers crossed'?
Or are you flicking me the 'v'.
Or are you watching me before you bring me down to Chinatown?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I can't see it myself
but I'm assuming this video shows what I mean

www.metacafe.com/watch/822146/barneys_eyes_how_i_met_your_mother/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Oh that's lovely
*spits in palm*
Shake?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:21, Reply)

*spits in your palm*
ok
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:27, Reply)

You're supposed to spit in your own!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:33, Reply)

hahahahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Right fuck off
we're not spit-brothers any mo'
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:39, Reply)

awwww
I was about to suggest that we become official BFFs...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Oh oh oh
ok then!
Can we hide hedgehogs in a treehouse?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:45, Reply)

despite that being one of the weirdest things I've ever been asked...
of course we can!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Aw man
*goes to get magnifying glass and put on some dungarees*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:48, Reply)

*is already wearing some*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Is your t-shirt stripey?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:51, Reply)

you knows it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:53, Reply)

You win the internet today

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:53, Reply)

*does Snoopy dance*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 14:54, Reply)

*throws head back and wigs out*
like Woodstock.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jan 2010, 15:29, Reply)