I’ve been looking out my window at work
across to the building opposite and I witnessed a guy pull up a piece of carpet and disappear into a hole… that was 5 minutes ago and he’s not reappeared yet… I now can’t work out if I imagined the whole thing, I have taken a lot of cold/flu drugs today!?

Have you witnessed anything particularly weird or unexpected recently?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:25, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No I haven't, but I'll use this reply as an excuse to say hello.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Ah how nice
How are you doing mr Chompy? How are things with your laydeeee?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:32, Reply)

She's left me for a week to go on holiday.
She's still not my lady though.

Oh I've invited myself to vegas with you and DiT so I can hit on your friends, I assume you're cool with that?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Only if she believes that those illegal cab rape adverts

where a girl's friends force her into an illegal taxi with a rapist are "to do manuals"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:36, Reply)

That joke could have worked if it was structured a bit better.
Good effort though.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Needs more punctuation

The perils of trying to post quickly, but thanks for the words of encouragement
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Awww I did that to DiT
hopefully she'll be away for a bit and then come back all ready for the lovin'! :D

Soon, soon she shall be your lady *strokes white fluffy cat*

Hahaha great, you're more than welcome to come to Vegas but you'll have to come out on girlie nights too, that'll involve dancing on tables in Studio 54 and getting your balls out for the ladies, are you sure you're up for that!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:38, Reply)

You women are evil evil creatures.
But yep hopefully. We'll see, still early days.

Nah, DiT and I will go to strip clubs when you're having girlie nights. Actually I couldn't afford to go anyway sorry to get your hopes up. If I win the lottery I'll keep it in mind.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Fuck off right. I'M going to strip clubs with DiT
I'm going to wear a suit and pretend I'm his brother, Clarence.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Hahaha
But then you must change and come out with the girlies to chat up strange men in stranger places... Clarence!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Don't you think Clarence would be a great guy?
I think he'd love to be taken out by you fine ladies.
He's not as wild as that Roota lady, mind you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Hehe
I think Clarence would be ace! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:07, Reply)

have you seen the video for Crazy by Aerosmith?
you and DiT need to act out the scene with the amateur stripping competition from that, with DiT playing the part of Liv Tyler
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Hooters is fun
the food there is wicked too and the beer is mucho cheap-oh!

Awww you dash my hopes against the rocks of despair you meanie... get to crackin' on winning the lotto! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:44, Reply)

You like breasts
I'll buy a ticket later on euromillions here I come!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I like breasts

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I clicked that,
thought you should know.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Thanks
That's sweet.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Have you been playing Mario?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Hehehe
I totally missed that comment! Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:02, Reply)

is it a bit like Rear Window?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Yup its just like Rear Window
Except I've got a cold rather than broken limbs and I'm watching a carpet fitter involved in carpet-based shenanigans rather than a murder cover-up... not as exciting as the Hitchcock classic! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:34, Reply)

not with that attitude

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Hahaha
10 mins, he's still not back... maybe he is dead!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:38, Reply)

He's being John Malkovic

or the English Equivilant, being Michael Barrymore, it's the same concept but with more dildos and swimming pools
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:43, Reply)

*fears*
What if he suddenly appears out of my office carpet... I would be afraid then... especially if he looked like Michael Barrymore! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:45, Reply)

"awight?"
he would say
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Eeeep!
He's back!! HE'S BACK!

I'm not going mad! Bloody hell that was a long time to be doing whatever he was doing!?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:51, Reply)

arrrfggggghhhhh *fears*
What a massive massive cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Every Day.
For example, I met a 15-year old boy today who had what appeared to be very minor friction burns on his right hand and a growth in his bicep.

And he'd come in with his Mum.

I managed to get Mum to leave the room and discovered that on examination of his genitals - to no-ones surprise - he'd been masturbating himself silly, thus causing an unnatural growth which his Mum (in over-protective-mother-hen mode) had mistaken for a tumour.

Explained to Mum that he'd been exercising a little too much and that the growth in his arm would steadily reduce over time given that he was sporty and exercising regularly.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:51, Reply)

hahahahahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:51, Reply)

pffft

how much would you need to masterbate to do this?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:53, Reply)

relentlessly I'd say

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I see a word forming…
its in great big flashing neon lights… it says… Challenge
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:58, Reply)

haha, awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I once saw this documentary about OCD

and a guy on that was talking about how much he wanked,

"usually I'll masterbate around about 5 or six..." at this point I thought 5 or 6 wanks is a lot for one day but not completely out of the bounds of normality, "hours a day" he finished :s
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:59, Reply)

christ
either he's got a fucking lot of staying power, or massively capacious balls and the ability to produce spunk at a hell of a rate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Surely after hours that amount of friction would create a fire?!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:04, Reply)

God knows

Maybe he did it sitting in bath of lube...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:05, Reply)

that's the only way I reckon
either that or he was just doing it wrong
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

How do you know these things?
Haha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Just a guess honestwrgv
sorry about that hand slipped...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:12, Reply)

To Add A Bit Of Information ...
1. Reduced risk of fire - not much nylon about, apparently

2. Averaging 6 - 8 times a day, each taking around 8 - 10 minutes

3. Averaging orgasm 2 - 3 times a day

4. Marginally increased risk of TIA / stroke through massive increase in blood pressure
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Yes, unfortunately nobody got a picture
but I spectacularly got a fish hook in my lip yesterday. Walking around the lake trying to find my nurse friend so she could take it out got weird looks from people.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 23:43, Reply)