My alarm seems to have an orgasm detector dedicated to waking me.
It will unfailingly go off just before I do. Boom boom.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:19, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Mine too kid

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Are you two
seriously telling me that you'd let a pre-designated time of waking get in the way of a good wank?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

The wank isn't the point.
It's the sheer bad manners of the fucking alarm interrupting a virtuoso sexual display. Albeit in dreamland but virtuoso anyway. Dream sex is just so satisfying when completed.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)

In my dreams I'm surprisingly inadequate in bed
I set my alarm early to wrest control of my sexual prowess from my subconscious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Cripes. Serious issues there fella.
That ain't dreaming that is nightmaring.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

True
But it's amazing how quickly years of the systemic erosion of one's self-confidence can be undone by a meeting with Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters. Well, four. Thumby is a mite short and tubby
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I just meant in my dreams, you barmpot

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)

No-one's called me a barmpot in ages!
*Bestows points on Roota*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Where are you from?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Nottingham originally
But I live in Norwich. No-one has ever called me a barmpot since I've lived here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Ah, I'm glad I called you that then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Why, does it have a different meaning in the South?
Or was it not intended as a vaguely affectionate compliment, as I chose to interpret it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Nah I'm scouse
It's totally affectionate.
We even say cunt affectionately.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)

oi you ya caahnt
what was your dream about?
( djtrialprice, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Eh up, El Cunty Diouf!
I'd rather not say here...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

clearly it was about me
wasn't it?
( djtrialprice, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Yes
And if you'd moved your arm out of the way faster, I may have achieved the objective before the alarm went off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

:D

( djtrialprice, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:36, Reply)