How does your brain know that your alarm is about to go off?
Why would it make your dream get really brilliant JUST as you're about to be woken up?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 7:59, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Because the brain is my nemesis and I must therefore vanquish it with drink.
Lots of drink.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:08, Reply)

Actually, all of your dreams are really brilliant
It's just that you can't remember them, except for the last few seconds just as you wake up. Then you can just about hear the Doof-Doofs as the theme tune plays at the cliffhanger to your dream and your alarm goes off.

Good morning, by the way.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Less of the "good"
It's not even 9 o'fucking clock yet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:49, Reply)

It's a lovely morning
I've been up for over an hour and a half and feel fine. I'm a morning person.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I am, normally, honest
But I got too little sleep and have been at work an hour already. Apologies if I seem like a grumpy cunt. The coffee will kick in soon and then I'll be H-I-(wait for it)larious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:01, Reply)

I got two hours less sleep
than I'd liked to have had, but I'm fine.

However, come 4pm, I'll be knackered.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)

At which point I shall remember your courtesy this morning
and sympathise. By 4pm I'll be in the full throes of the murderous rage inspired by the eternal problem of working in sales... the fucking customers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Why do I drink on a school night?
That's what I want to know.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Totally this.
I feel fantastic now though!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:41, Reply)

*shakes fist at Noel's metabolism*
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I effectively had five pints and six hours sleep
but I feel fine. Teehee!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Fuck sake
That's exactly what I had! Either side of doing a dance demonstration. The pints. The sleep was all after the dancing. I still want all our customers to die of being mauled by lots of bears
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:02, Reply)

And I'm incredibly chirpy.
In your face, universe!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I'm torn
between being pleased that someone can come through such an evening with a smile on their face and wanting to hunt you down and swap my mood for your liver
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I'm all out of faith

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)

This is how I feel

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I'm cold and I am shamed
lying broken on the floor

/manliness fail
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Not quite right
but I'll give you half a point ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Half a point!
= half manliness win!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

it does!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)

What am I without you.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Hahahah!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Oh my god agreed
I want to go home
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Even brains like tea and toast.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I haven't had a morsel yet

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)

I dreamt I was a teacher
In no way is this an acceptable dream.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 8:57, Reply)

You could be teaching young ladeez
with clothes that keep falling off.

I'd take up teaching for that.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Sounds like the running joke
my mate and I used when we used to go swimming, if one of us had missed a session.

"Oh, you missed a good one today - the Swedish under-21 women's nude swimming team was practising in the pool"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Do I know you?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Possibly
Are you the guy in the swimming pool with the waterproof camera and the snorkel?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Yes
the pictures are for training purposes only
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Perhaps surprisingly
I didn't dream about nazi zombies
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Bloody hell
Neither did I. Are we twins, separated at birth or something?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I had been watching a film about nazi zombies though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Ah, I see
I wasn't.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I want to know more of this film
Although I suspect the plot is relatively self-explanatory. The title would be nice though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:21, Reply)

It must be Dead Snow.

( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:26, Reply)

must it be dead snow because that's what I mentioned in my facebook status?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I was about to bestow the level of "smartarse" on BGB
Thank you for this new and highly relevant information
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:39, Reply)

it's a thoroughly enjoyable film
it is in norwegian with subtitles, but that doesn't detract from it. in fact probably makes it better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Your taste on most things
as discovered by me thus far encourages me to seek out this film
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I haven't been on Facebook.
I've watched the film.
( girlinthehole, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

In which case
You, milady, are a smartarse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

We watched that last night
I must admit to laughing like a loon in places
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

nazi zombies bumming a sheep
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I dreamt I was looking after someone else's baby
and it kept nearly getting into scrapes. Unlike the movies though, hilarity didn't ensue.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:09, Reply)

You should bring in John Hughes
as executive dream consultant. It's only a matter of time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I was watching Futurama the other day
where Fry realises adverts are being beamed into his brain. I think that's probably what will happen eventually.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:32, Reply)

'xactly
Since we've come up with the notion of hiring down-on-their-luck Hollywood types to "conceptualise" said adverts I think we should be allowed first pick. I want Robert Rodriguez. His films always have tits in them.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I don't know a lot about directors
but I know I definitely don't want Guillermo Del Toro!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

It'd be vivid!
and you'd never go to sleep again

I want the Coen brothers, for that feeling you'd get every morning of waking up feeling terribly clever you're not sure why
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

haha
and if I was planning on sleeping for 18 hours I could get James Cameron on it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

My alarm seems to have an orgasm detector dedicated to waking me.
It will unfailingly go off just before I do. Boom boom.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Mine too kid

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Are you two
seriously telling me that you'd let a pre-designated time of waking get in the way of a good wank?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

The wank isn't the point.
It's the sheer bad manners of the fucking alarm interrupting a virtuoso sexual display. Albeit in dreamland but virtuoso anyway. Dream sex is just so satisfying when completed.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)

In my dreams I'm surprisingly inadequate in bed
I set my alarm early to wrest control of my sexual prowess from my subconscious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Cripes. Serious issues there fella.
That ain't dreaming that is nightmaring.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

True
But it's amazing how quickly years of the systemic erosion of one's self-confidence can be undone by a meeting with Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters. Well, four. Thumby is a mite short and tubby
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I just meant in my dreams, you barmpot

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)

No-one's called me a barmpot in ages!
*Bestows points on Roota*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Where are you from?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Nottingham originally
But I live in Norwich. No-one has ever called me a barmpot since I've lived here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Ah, I'm glad I called you that then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Why, does it have a different meaning in the South?
Or was it not intended as a vaguely affectionate compliment, as I chose to interpret it?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Nah I'm scouse
It's totally affectionate.
We even say cunt affectionately.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)

oi you ya caahnt
what was your dream about?
( djtrialprice, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Eh up, El Cunty Diouf!
I'd rather not say here...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

clearly it was about me
wasn't it?
( djtrialprice, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Yes
And if you'd moved your arm out of the way faster, I may have achieved the objective before the alarm went off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

:D

( djtrialprice, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 10:36, Reply)