Anything by James Patterson.
The fact that he is the most borrowed author from British libraries confirms my suspicion that libraries are predominately frequented by retarbs (staff excluded). It was like reading the Simple Wikipedia version of Harlan Coben.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:29, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Yeah
I've read a couple of his books, but they did seem all fast paced action with no depth.

Coben, however, is a master of his art.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Patterson's books consist of sentences like:
I knew something was wrong the moment I saw the body.
"Oh, you're the top FBI profiler," said the cop by the door.
"Yes." I said. "A good, god-fearing profiler. And it looks like we have a murderer on our hands."

(That's about the length of one 'chapter' as well. No joke.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:35, Reply)

this is true
I've read most of them (because they take seconds each) and a couple show a tiny amount of merit, but for the most part they are dire. and getting worse.

don't get me started on the ones he writes with someone else...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 9:53, Reply)