you answered both those questions:
"She's depressed and very unhappy, and he tries not to make things worst."
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I know
It's only that sometimes he tryes so hard to be good with her that I feel a bit on the side.

I know it's only going to get better, and things have improved a lot since the last summer.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I wouldn't have her in the house alone with him
just in case she started doing the whole crying so he'll comfort her and then she can facerape him thing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

I'm worried enough about that
Every time they meet (a lot less often these days) he comes back really bad, crying and feeling like crap. If I tell him that, he thinks I'm trying to pull them appart.

I just hope he has the brains not to do anything silly. I might call him every 5 min.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)

what's wrong with pulling a man apart from his obviously needy, clingy ex?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)

THIS ^^
I mean, what's she saying that gets him in that state??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Go and ask him
I'd like to know too.

He wants to be friends with her. They were together for 13years, and he can't just stop talking with her completely.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)

that makes things more difficult
while still friends with my exes, I rarely talk to any of them.

however, nothing that any of my close friends could say would bring me to tears, or make me particularly emotional, and the same is true of an ex.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Yeah
And if he came back from seeing her all cheerful and breezy, then fine, it's a healthy relationship.
But he's crying and upset? That's not on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)

yeah
doesn't sound like any friendships of which I am aware.

he might not want to stop talking with her completely, but it sounds like it'd be a shitload better for the both of them if he did. at least for a while.

much fairer to you as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

hear hear
My dude is best buds with one of his exes, but they see each other all the time and do normal social and pleasant things.
If he came back all grey and soggy I'd be worried.

Sort it out Abbers, you deserve better than this!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I've told him exactly that
I don't want him to hide when he feels bad to stop me saying this to him, but I honestly think it's not healthy when your "friend" makes you feel like crap.

Well, we'll see how he does tonight. We might need a beer and a good chat afterwards.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)

It's been a couple of months since the last time they talked
Because she asked, and he's improved so much during that time!

I hope it doesn't go back to what it was tonight.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:27, Reply)