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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It doesn't make sense.
My bf's ex has decided, after 13 months since she moved, that tonight she's going to the house and pick up her things. She has made clear that I can't be in the house while she's there, from 6.30 untill she fancies.

It was her who left him, and left him well broken, and I was there to pick the pieces and make him happy again (without thinking about going out with him, just as a friend)

She used to be ok with me before, now she (and most of their common girl-friends) hates me.

I don't care too much, I just ignore her these days, but, what is out there that you don't understand?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:12, 227 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
do you live at the house?
even if not. it's not her place to order you around. cunt her in the fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I have my own flat
But we live together in both places until he can rent the house.

You are right, it's not her house to say anything, but the bf doesn't want to upset her, so I'm having tea on my own today.

At least I can do with some me time. I'll make the most of it!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:16, Reply)
considering you're his current he should care more about not upsetting you

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)
precisely
it's not like she's a recent ex either.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Agreed
If she broke his heart she has no right to dictate who he spends time with when she's around, least of all you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:17, Reply)
As I said
He doesn't want to upset her. This is not one of the worst things he's done for her, so I think I've got used to it. At least, it doesn't happen very often.

She's depressed and very unhappy, and he tries not to make things worst.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Bitter
I have been in a similar situation some years ago.

My then GF decided that ex-GF (who was breezing into my life (I hadn't changed the locks and she let herself in at 30 minutes notice) to "pick up her stuff from my place") should be made to feel unsettled and thus was performing a sex act on me when ex-GF walked in and throughout ex-GFs visit.

It felt weird for ex-GF and felt extremely uncomfortable for me: I wish that she (then GF) hadn't done it but she felt bitter and believed that the bitterness she felt was shared by me. It wasn't.
(JohntheDane, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Wow!
I don't think I could do anything like that!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
You bring shame upon Denmark
...if that's where you're really from.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
?
Why would I not be Danish?
(JohntheDane, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
It's well known
that Danish people are a fabrication by the Viking industry.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 11 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)
You can't admit to that on here!
Al the meat monster would fry you up and eat you.
You must be correctly branded though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 11 May 2010, 17:35, Reply)
Why when anyone asks advice here
the advice generally encourages a stubborn stance that will provoke some sort of conflict?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)
Said advice is a reflection on the characters of those who inhabit OT
and this should come as no surprise to you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)
here's pictures of that thing I went to on friday that you wanted to come to.
www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?id=100000018845352&aid=22146&s=0&hash=a9e881446500a039d844d92278c09bc8
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)
Was that the Blitz party?
They send me their events and every time I can't go.
I might dress the bf up in a uniform and drag him to the next one. Are they fucking awesome?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)
No it was a thing run by some friends called Dollar Shake
it's usually a 50's 60's night but it was a one off VE day celebration.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)
I'd like any retro thing
But I REALLY want to go to a Blitz Party
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Well you should live in Milton Keynes then.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)
They're in London
But I passed Milton Keynes on the train and saw a nice quainty bit and thought I could possibly bear it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)
There's plenty of nice quainty bits in MK
like this
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:34, Reply)
I'd never seen them before
And people I've known from there have only ever moaned about how ugly and boring it is
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:38, Reply)
OMG, AN OLD CHURCH!
I've never seen one of those before. Milton Keynes must be super awesome!!!1!!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
That's some subtle sarcasm right there.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)
I do my best.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)
You don't have to impress me.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Why do you assume I'm trying to?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)
it's the most logical explanation

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)
Nothing I do has a reason.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
that's a really awkward sentence

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
ZING

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)
At least I can spell sentence correctly.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
can you spell vanity?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)
shut up

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
Better than Psychochomp can.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
his grasp on the language isn't up to much
I'd gauge his ability to be somewhere below that of a scouser
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)
That's poor.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)
So are scousers.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Vanity

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
Fucking stupid work firewall
I'll have a look at home later, thank you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Well, I'm not going to confront anyone
I just can't understand why she's acting like that and why he allows her to do it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Meh, it's not like she's going to be around all the time.
She sounds like a bitch so it's best to avoid her.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)
I agree
That's why I ignore her.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)
you answered both those questions:
"She's depressed and very unhappy, and he tries not to make things worst."
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)
I know
It's only that sometimes he tryes so hard to be good with her that I feel a bit on the side.

I know it's only going to get better, and things have improved a lot since the last summer.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I wouldn't have her in the house alone with him
just in case she started doing the whole crying so he'll comfort her and then she can facerape him thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)
I'm worried enough about that
Every time they meet (a lot less often these days) he comes back really bad, crying and feeling like crap. If I tell him that, he thinks I'm trying to pull them appart.

I just hope he has the brains not to do anything silly. I might call him every 5 min.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)
what's wrong with pulling a man apart from his obviously needy, clingy ex?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
THIS ^^
I mean, what's she saying that gets him in that state??
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
Go and ask him
I'd like to know too.

He wants to be friends with her. They were together for 13years, and he can't just stop talking with her completely.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
that makes things more difficult
while still friends with my exes, I rarely talk to any of them.

however, nothing that any of my close friends could say would bring me to tears, or make me particularly emotional, and the same is true of an ex.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
Yeah
And if he came back from seeing her all cheerful and breezy, then fine, it's a healthy relationship.
But he's crying and upset? That's not on.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)
yeah
doesn't sound like any friendships of which I am aware.

he might not want to stop talking with her completely, but it sounds like it'd be a shitload better for the both of them if he did. at least for a while.

much fairer to you as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
hear hear
My dude is best buds with one of his exes, but they see each other all the time and do normal social and pleasant things.
If he came back all grey and soggy I'd be worried.

Sort it out Abbers, you deserve better than this!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)
I've told him exactly that
I don't want him to hide when he feels bad to stop me saying this to him, but I honestly think it's not healthy when your "friend" makes you feel like crap.

Well, we'll see how he does tonight. We might need a beer and a good chat afterwards.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)
It's been a couple of months since the last time they talked
Because she asked, and he's improved so much during that time!

I hope it doesn't go back to what it was tonight.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:27, Reply)
Pack her stuff leave it on the doorstep
watch from a darkened upstairs window and whisper and giggle quietly out of site, then make sex noises.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)
*Sight
It won't work if they're not on the premises when they do it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)
partly for comedy effect
but partly because that's the opinion I have on this. if it were more recent I'd be more understanding, but 13 months is quite a long time and there shouldn't be any cause for concern.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)
I don't

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)
You are a good girl!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:29, Reply)
I said generally spaz head.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Shurrup you vole

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)
String theory, men, why my cats keep bringing in bits of gravel into the house, computers.
Lots of things really.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Maybe he thinks it's giving you a present
The cat, I mean.

I gave up in understanding men. I only know that, it doesn't matter how bad things are, a blowjob always makes things better.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)
Who do I blow?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Yep, I know
You need the approppriate tools first. But I'm sure there are plenty of guys happy for you to blow them.

Unfortunately, us women don't work like that. If things are wrong and he asks for a blowjob... Grrrr
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Not the cat, you'll only encourage it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)
Not if what's wrong is that his cock's fallen off

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)
You're right
That might be the one and only exception.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Can't you suck out a new one, like a pez dispenser?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)
If you have hydra DNA
Two might spring up in place of the original. That would be fucking brilliant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)
I don't understand programming languages
Which frustrates me when languages seeemed to go into my head okay at school. Why not code?
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:22, Reply)

#include<iostream.h>

using namespace std;

int main(void)
{
while(1){
cout <<"Hahahaaha you retard" <<endl;
}
return 0;
}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
Set up your flat like the house in Home Alone
film the resulting carnage and send it to You've Been Framed in weekly installments.
Use the money from YBF to pay for a disturbed loner to post his turds to her on a sporadic basis, you may need to provide stamped, addressed jiffy bags for this.

profit
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)
It's not a bad idea
I might consider it next time she comes with stupid requests.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:24, Reply)
Send your own turds
Cashback
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)
That Hebridean nose singing thing. It's well weird.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)
Staying out of the way seems like the best idea, apart from the "until she fanices" part. I don't like that.
Fucking metagenomics. That's what I don't understand. Wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to write 1500 words on it by Friday.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Metawhat?
I'm affraid I can't help you there.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Yeah, that was my reaction to it as well.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:35, Reply)
I think that if you even know what the word means without having to Wiki it
you're probably bloody miles ahead of the rest of us
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)
it's ok
because Tuesday nights are pole nights :D
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)
Wooo
And Yay! :D
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)
I was gutted to discover recently
that good pole-dancing seems to be less about arm strength (of which I have some) and more about core strength (not so much), so I can't really do bloody anything on Ms Foxtrot's pole.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I dunno, arm strength is very important
at least initially because your suspending your whole weight from your arms.

Later on you need abs of steel for lifting your legs around upside down.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Isn't that a pokemon?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)
No.
It's the application of modern genomics techniques such as environmental shotgun sequencing to the study of biological communities in their natural environment without having to isolate, culture or observe them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Only 1470 words to go

(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
The actual title of the essay is:
"Microbial Diversity: Exploring the Unexplored".

Yeah, thanks for that, professor, cos that doesn't essentially cover our ENTIRE DEGREE or anything.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)
Exploring the Unexplored??
I hate those type of titles? Nobody ever has explored microbial diversity, eh?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)
Exactly.
"So you want us to write about something that hasn't been discovered yet then, do you?"
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)
It's better than "[topic name], discuss."
but not much.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
You can pay for my Neurofen for hurting me with that

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Don't buy branded drugs
you're basically killing Africans with Aids everytime you do.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)
I can't actually take ibuprofen anyway
It gives me eyelids like Big Bird
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)
and making yourself poor

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:46, Reply)
Sorry,
Have some of mine, I'm going through them like hot cakes.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)
you WANT me to get a shocking-pink face!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)
No!
I posted that before I saw your other post. Paracetamol?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)
yeah they'll do nicely
I really like Junior Disprol, but you have to take millions of the buggers to get a hit.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)
I wish I could still have calpol.
I used to fake being ill so I could have some. It tastes so good!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)
I don't like Calpol
Black Magic is where it's at.
Get it before they ban it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)
What's that?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:56, Reply)
Sometimes called BM
And theres a shittier version called ipecacuanha & morphine.
Cough stuff with ethanol in. Numbs your throat and tastes of licorice.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:58, Reply)
You druggie!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)
the auld ones go mad for it!
It's not easy to get hold of nowadays.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Nobody has yet replied
'the offside rule'.

Proof, if any were needed, that those purporting to be women on the internet are indeed men.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)
Sorry
I forgot for a second that I have an empty brain and I can't understand simple things.

I can't assemble IKEA furniture either. Neither I can leave the house without 30min in front of the mirror checking how I look.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)
But you're Spanish
so I suppose maybe the offside rule filter doesn't apply!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Being brilliant at football doesn't mean that the laws of the game don't apply to you
unless you happen to be Manchester United
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
It does
The same stupid sterotype everywhere. It has nothing complicated that rule. There are two reasons why it's taken women so long to understand:

1. Most don't give a fuck about football
2. You are awful at explaining it
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)
On the other side of the coin.
I'm [possibly] going to be looking after my friends Jack Russel/Pug cross-bread year-old dog for a few weeks.

OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN !!!! OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY !!!! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST NEWS I'VE HAD IN YEARS !!!!! OH MAN OH MAN !!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)
Sooooo....
your boyfriend is going to sleep with his ex later, yes? That's what "you can't be there" means, I assume.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:34, Reply)
This is somehow completely and utterly irrelivent to I'M DOG SITTING A JUG !!!!

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:35, Reply)
I can't think of a worse dog
jack russells are fucking awful, and pugs are fucking ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Don't let DonkeyGums hear you say that.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)
...

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)
guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
*trousers rip*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Jacks are boss
Narky little cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Jack russells are fucking full of fucking win.
They're like valium on legs.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:37, Reply)
And they're not scared of anything apart from the Hoover

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Haha!
Biscuit attacks the Hoover at every opportunity.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:40, Reply)
That was the only thing my nana's dog feared
Oh, and fireworks. We used to say he had the Shakin' Stevens on Bommy Night.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)
they are the worst type of dog
fucking annoying yappy cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)
Some of them are very noble

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)
cunt dogs owned by twats

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)
MY NANA!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I suppose oppersites attract.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Jack Russells = BOING
Bouncy little fuckers.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)
I'm going to break your shitter over my knee

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I love dogs
I wish I could have at least one, but that would mean not travelling.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:38, Reply)
Why do you need to travel when you've got 100% unconditional love in your life?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)
Uuuuh
I love travelling.

I'll consider it one day, when I have a big house with a garden and I've seen all the world.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)
Why people get engaged?
Whats the fucking point, just get married you fucking dry run cunts.

How was the holiday Vipros, get some good piccies?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:47, Reply)
I understand the engagement thing
From the moment they decide to marry until they get everything sorted to get married.

I don't understand years and years of it, without really planning to get married at all. What's the point?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Cos instead of just sat there watching Punchlines with Lenny Bennett
and going
"hmmm, shall we get married then?"
"Ok, yeah... Pass us the Revels."

You can have that moment of "Sharon, I love you pure loads, will you please do me the honour of becoming my wifey."
And then you put the ENGAGEMENT ring on her finger and she gets to show her mates and when Adrian from the butchers tries to chat her up she can waft it past him, and ALL other nice things while they maybe think about planning to run off somewhere for a quick wedding so they don't have to invite her ex (who still takes her mum shopping on a Wednesday) and his aunty Karen (who's clinically mental).
Dur!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)
I was thinking more of the,
"let's get engaged and have a big party, a bit like a wedding but not quite" type scenario. Surely if you ask someone to marry you, then that's you 'engaged to be married', no need for rings or parties or cards.

I have a friend who has been engaged for, wait for it, 25 fucking years! Talk about lack of commitment.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)
that's just silly
I'm tempted to have an engagement party just so I get presents

and our engagement will last long enough to save the money we need to get married.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Traditionally you don't get presents for your engagement

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)
You do in the 'Pool
if you have a do
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
depends on your mates I reckon
some of mine would give presents. probably just tat though, so will just get pissed up in the boozer instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
A packet of scampi fries does not an engagement present make!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
What about a boiled ham cob?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
A ring is nice.
It means your someone's darlin.
I agree that parties are for cheeky greedy cunts.
A nice meal with your family might be alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I am a cheeky greedy cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)
You are
How many toasters do you WANT eh??
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
you'd come to my party if I invited you and it wasn't miles away though
I only have and need one toaster
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
I love a good do
But I don't go to bribery do's
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
if you promise to bring a good present I'll have a blitz themed party

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
OH!
Alright then.
I'll get you some Meccano
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
nice
it'll go with the helicopter I have on my desk
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Hoorah
*buys nylons*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
as if you haven't got them already....

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)
New ones
It's a special occasion
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
I think I might have a Tianamen square massacre party
everyone has to come as man wearing a white shirt with plastic bags, a tank or they have to come and hide for the entire evening to represent those that disappeared, it'll be ace!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
that sounds like my kind of party

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Maybe someone could start a fleet of historical atrocity party buses
"Come and party down on the Holocaust Houndog, celebrating Elvis's brief stint in the army and the worst human tragedy of the modern age!

Too retro, we've got parties for the bang up to date atrocity, try the Serbian special, Muslims, Christians and more welcome for fun and games like dodge the sniper, ethnic bobbing for apples and dig your own grave."
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)
"for those who like it medieval
don your chainmail and that red and white tabard and we can celebrate violently bringing christianity to the heathens!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Fun for all the family
Throw coconuts at the heathens heads, rape their woman in the rape tent and don't miss the spectacular firework and bonfire in the evening, ppiled high with dead muslims.

Please note if it's wet there will be additional parking in St,Thomas primary school, don't forget your wellies!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)
Luxury Liberia Limb Hack
Amaze and entertain your friends with this chilling yet fun party night. Crack, rape, cannibalism and our ever popular MACHETE MADNESS, prizes go to cleanest removal of all limbs, its harder than it looks!!

Only £39pp, includes entry, all drinks and as much of our specially seasoned 'human flesh' as you can stomach. (crack not included)
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)
looking to get away from it all?
we can reproduce a tropical island complete with natives who you can rape and slaughter. When you are tired of that leave them with a legacy of disease!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)
Or come on a blood-soaked bicycle!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
back up a bit...
who's got my bunting?
we could get some prezzies?
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)
Yeah
But you'd have them all outside Oxfam by morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:26, Reply)
hahaha
This is true. You're getting to know the madness that is djtp.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:27, Reply)
And besides, is there a statute of limitations on this?
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post642313
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
A year is customary

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
An' Davy Taylor's shaggin' yer missus

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
what the ladies said...
it was lovely thanks. beautiful place. lots of pictures. due to overcastness or bright sun the light was a bit weird, so have loads of amazing pictures of the sky with slightly dark landscape.

still great pics though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)
Sounds like you needed to get daddy with some HDR photography
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HDR_photography
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)
I can never remember what that is called
not a bad idea. Probably auto adjusting the contrast and stuff in photoshop will do though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:28, Reply)
It is a brilliant method, can produce some stunning results.
There is a program that takes your multiple images and mixes them to make one image. You absolutely need a tripod for it though. Alternatively if you have a fancy pants digital SLR that takes RAW format pics, you only need one picture.

Adjusting the contrast etc in photoshop will have limited success, i prefer adjusting shadows and highlights'. The thing is, if the sky is just a white blare, there will be no detail in it regardless of what you do to it.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)
saying contrast was a catchall for "buggering about with in photoshop"
in most of my pics the sky has incredible detail, as does the land but is just a bit dark, so will only need a bit of tweaking.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)
Cool
Definitely try Image/adjustments/shadows and highlights. It gives an excellent level of control over dark pics.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)
I will do
thanks :-)

as a reward, here is a photo down the side of one of the places we stayed
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)
Tweaked slightly with the shadows/highlights tool
and maybe some saturation boost
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)
I used to live in Benbecula
I was jealouses a little. But then while you were out there I was in the Cairngorms so not too fussed.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)
friends that criticize me for not talking to them yet the phone works both ways, doesn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)
familiar with this
I have some mates who live about 10 houses along the street. they complain that they never see me, and yet my house is as close to theirs as theirs is to mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
when I moved house I missed a couple kid's birthday parties and when I texted the friends to say I wasn't going to make it
I didn't get anything back, not an okay, not a why the fuck not, nothing
so they just decided they weren't going to invite me to anything at all anymore and I got a random text last night and when I responded this morning she's all "YOU RESPONDED TO ME!!!!1!!" and I'm like yeah, why wouldn't I? Jerk
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
that's just weird

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)
oh man, you should've been there for the birthday debacle!
last year they planned a party for me and my mate, I got all the details, to go to a place I fucking hate so I said I wasn't going to go but thanks for the invite.
This particular girl was like "I'M DONE! I'm not going out of my way for you anymore!!" I'm like wtf yes, thanks for going out of your way to invite me to a place I fucking hate for MY birthday.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Are your friends teenagers?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)
she's 30
they're all immature housewives that have nothing better to do than pet eachother's ego and gossip about everyone behind their backs
she's a manipulative liar and I'm quite glad I don't hang around her little group anymore
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
Nice friends
I left a lot like those in Tenerife and don't miss them a bit.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)
DRAMA!
I swear, you need to have your own reality tv show.

where you are a beacon of normality in an ocean of mental young women
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)
haha it would be QUITE dull
before I moved is when all the juicy shit happened, these days it's just me and my dee oh gee
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
well, at least gonz would watch ;-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)
haha watch me LOSE MY FUCKING MIND
that dog drives me nuts, I swear

she ran me out of my own bed this morning, she farted and it was so fucking nasty *gags*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)
I never phone people, I hate talking on the phone
I view it as a tool for organisation only.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
I hate it even more
When my family (not my parents or siblings) tell me it's a long time that I don't visit and when I'm going to go again.

Well, the plane goes both ways. And, you've never visited me in 5 years.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)
My parents moan about this, they are fucking retired and could come up to town any time
I don't want to waste a whole weekend bored out of my mind rattling about their house.

Really we should aggree to Christmas, Easter and birthdays and accept no contact in between.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
when I moved in with my friend I invited my parents over for dinner, my dad said he doesn't like going to stranger's houses

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)
my sister has the cheek to complain i never visit
and every time i tell her - i have a mortgage, rent on an office and over 500 € in expenses every month to cover. you get 4 and a half grand from the scottish government to study, and where does it go?

she actually had the nerve to congratulate me on going to my gran's fucking funeral
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Simple solution
All her stuff will be outside the front gate for her to pick up without entering the house.

Been there done it. Such a pity it was raining at the time.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
yeah but it's not down to Abberacion
It's down to her bloke and he's being a ponce.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
He is being a ponce, she is an ex and doesn't matter anymore

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)
If I tell him that
He'll be upset.

He's been invited to a few things (even a wedding) as long as I am not there. I've made very clear that if his friends (only the girls) don't like me, then he should rethink that friendship.

It's getting better, but it goes very slow. Maybe we should have stayed as friends, but now I love him to bits, so it's not an option anymore.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)
Is he going to those things that he's invited to?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
He deserves to be upset
you are more important than she is, and if this is upsetting you then he should put you first.

With regards to the wedding, were you not invited, or actively uninvited? I'm not inviting loads of boyfriends and girlfriends as I don't really know them and I don't have room.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)
No, I was uninvited
He asked when he got the invitation (same as for a lot of other parties) and was told that I wasn't welcome because the girls don't like me.

So, he asked if I would be ok with him going, and I said no. So he's not going to the parties to make me happy, but not because he sees any problem about going.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
I've got a friend in a similar position
where she has been deliberately and rudely not invited or uninvited from things because friends of her blokes ex are going to be there.

Gradually he has realised that those friends can fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
I hope my bf realizes soon
I feel awful about pulling him appart from his friends, though.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)
They ain't his friends.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
Well, the problem is that the boys are great
They are cool with me, and even supporting, and very happy that I helped their friend to be ok again.

It's the stupid bitches of their girlfriends. Women!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)
that doesn't surprise me at all

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Actually I saw a group of male friends behave that way once
So it can be anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
but usually it will be women
within my group of male friends we have all dated some fucking awful harridans (mostly my mate Adam) but we still accepted them into the group because they were with our mate.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
I agree
Although I've seen some bitchy men, it's mostly us, ladies, that get silly with gossiping.

It must come with the genes, or something.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)
I said the same thing to my friend
they are being stupid and petty and need to grow the fuck up.

he's moved on so there's no reason for them not to. I don't know the circumstances of how you got together, but assuming there wasn't any cheating or anything going on when he and she were still together there is definitely no cause for them to be such wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
They think
We went together too soon, and should have waited longer for her to feel better. That's why they hate me.

Apart from one, who hates me because I'm Spanish and her ex-husband left her for a younger, prettier Spaniard.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
ridiculous
maintaining a spiteful petty hatred because you and your bf acted in a way that didn't meet their approval.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
And the ex left HIM
So why the fuck did he have to wait for HER to be ok???
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)
that makes it even worse

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)
What makes it worse
Is the fact that the bf has had to stop doing things with his mates only because they don't like me.

I understand why he gets upset. He's not upset with me, he's upset at the situation. If it's only boys going out, everything is great. If there are girls invited, he's asked to stay at home or go without me. It's not fair on him either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)
that really sucks
you have my sympathy

when my mrs met my friends it was at a fancy dress party. I had made her dress up as dangermouse. it went well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Nice on you!
And thanks. It's not really as bad as it sounds, most of the time we don't think much about it and go out with his mates.

Today it's being difficult, and I foresee a long night of talking, but I should be ok tomorrow.

Give time to time, it always works.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)
really, if they're true friends they'd try to get to know you or at least accept the situation
I was a major advocate against my bff's boyfriend, but I stopped myself, if being with him makes her happy then I'm happy for her
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
You need to settle this like adults
So set up a paddling pool in the living room, fill it with KY jelly and challenge her to wrestle for her things.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 11 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)
She's much bigger than me
I'd be the loser :(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)
I give you solutions and you give me more problems...

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)
She's bigger than you are? You win!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 11 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)
I would sit down and be honest with him
and tell him to stop being so out of order to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)
then wank him off really hard to get the message home.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:21, Reply)
This thing cannot be understood because it makes no sense.
Your bf has to cut all contact with this girl and move on.
It is non-sensical that she can still dictate to him like this. She should have no control over him or you.
Old feelings die hard and cloud the judgement for long after the affection has died, but he must refuse these demands. If there is any real reason for her visit he must set the time and duration. Then stick to it.
Do you have the same powers? - if you ask him to come to you as soon as she has left will he come?
Does he realise this could affect his relationship with you?
Perhaps you could cultivate your own friends and introduce him to a new circle.

Enjoy your alone time, slob evenings are always good!
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 11 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

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