I'm like an online Columbo, me
In that I'll show you who dunnit at the start, so there's really no point in watching
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:14, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I dunno
I'm a hell of a lot more confused now than I was five minutes ago
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Just one more thing....
To add to the mounting pile of evidence I have against you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Fantastical supposition and milk of magnesia do not evidence make

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I've drawn a picture of you on my bedroom wall
Across which I've scrawled 'big gay bumder who had to make a second account because nobody liked him the first time'

That's all the evidence I need, bucko.

I actually have no idea who you are, or why I'm saying these things. Hello, Darth Foxtrot, how are you doing?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)

That little third-act turnaround actually made me officelol
I'm fine thank you Bert Monkeysex, it's good to meet you. What's brightening your day at present?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)

The sun.

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

*left index finger on nose, right index finger pointing at you*
Oooh, you're sharp as a tack you are
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)

*winks*

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Crikey
Somebody must do their pelvic floor exercises

*winks back*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Would you two like a moment alone?
/popcorn
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Don't leave me alone with him.

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

You're scared now
but I bet you're also a little intrigued
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)

It'd take more than a moment
if I was ever left alone with the lovely BGB, I'd spend months pummelling at her like an omni-dextrous jackhammer, at the end of it we'd both be totally ruined, she'd need months of physical therapy just to walk again
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Thank you Bert.
In my darkest moments when I feel that I'll never get a shag again, I'll always remember this post and smile.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Don't remember this one
remember the ones that I used to post to you, way back before...

I never did tell you this, BGB, but you were the reason I left
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)

*snort*
Go on then. Tell my why.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Some other time maybe

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Oh sure : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I insist on being present for the entire process to verify these outlandish claims

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Sorry but the invite for this party
insists on 'No Gays Allowed'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)

You would not believe how many parties I've tried to get into that have the same clause on the invite

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Throw your own party
and make in anti-hetero, that way you and your boyfriend Gary Newman can bum each other in the face all night
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)

It probably says a lot about me
that my first instinct is not to defend my heterosexuality but to point out that you keep spelling Numan wrong
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Poncey twat
I'll spell Newman however the hell I like
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Don't make me angry, Bert
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Right now?
Implying that althegeordie is a cunt by suggesting that his missus gets cervical cancer, that's tickled me somewhat
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Al's always been nothing but pleasant to me
I won't stand for such dastardly behaviour

/may not be true
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

The sun shining out of his distended ringpiece.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)