You lot obviously haven't been clicking my posts enough
Because I just became an uncle for the third time.
Little boy, not sure how much he weighed yet, born by c-section because he got his umbillical cord wrapped around his neck, and they're going to name him something greek that sounds like arsepit or something.

Fingers crossed for a bit of cot death, or maybe shaken baby syndrome
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 19:59, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I didn't realise you still slept in a cradle

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 20:01, Reply)

Your wit astounds me

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 20:06, Reply)

As long as you don't reproduce anymore then the world is a safer place.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 20:06, Reply)

What an awful thing to say
My daughter is beautiful
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 20:07, Reply)

Yes and lets hope she doesn't............
GET RAPED!!!!!
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 20:10, Reply)

Pfffft
Statistically her chances are slim, but I'll see what I can do
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 20:26, Reply)

Maybe you could move to South Africa and improve the odds.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 21:04, Reply)

yes, nice daughter he has there,
would be a shame if anyone raped her.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 Jun 2010, 22:23, Reply)

But surely he wasn't a baby until he was born.
God can now keep his side of the bargain. He knows I clicked enough.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 11 Jun 2010, 23:32, Reply)

You really are being rather a cunt at the moment.
Is everything okay?
Do you need some help?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 12 Jun 2010, 0:56, Reply)

It's just Bert being Bert.
He's a fluffy huggly chimp really.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Jun 2010, 1:53, Reply)

This
But my sister (the one I grew up with, not one of the long-lost ones) is one of the most evil people I've ever known, if you think I'm bad, she'd melt your face.

So today I will be checking the new arrival for horns and '666' birthmarks
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 12 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Awful man
Poor banter. Get away from me.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Sat 12 Jun 2010, 10:52, Reply)

On another note
I just got a nice gigantic book/technique guide on Slap Bass. I'm going to be a fucking jazz monster very shortly.


Alternatively I'll flick through it twice and forget all about it.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Sat 12 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

You could join the Stray Cats if you learnt properly
Start growing a massive quiff now.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 12 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)