Dear Chickenlady,
why does my left buttock - just my left buttock - hurt after this morning's jog?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:14, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

rape?
where was psychochomp during your jog, does he have an alibi?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:17, Reply)

I think I would have noticed a rapist inserting himself into me and managing to keep pace stride-for-stride, stroke-for-stroke
unless he was like a microrapist
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:18, Reply)

With a micropenis?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:19, Reply)

'xactly
And some micromountaineering equipment, presumably
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

yes
that is precisely why i suggested chompy.

[not that i am bitter because he has fecked off to glastonbury or anything]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I lost interest in Glastonbury when I found out U2 aren't playing
*braces*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:28, Reply)

You pulled a muscle
And I'd look at your running shoes if I were you - you may find that you list to one side.
Always warm up properly before you run and always warm down by collapsing in a heap in a sofa on return.

Next time try pulling an old trout.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:20, Reply)

That was a logical, sensible and well-thought out answer, thank you
However, you are dispensing intelligent and practical advice on B3ta. You know what that means... A WITCH!!!

Edit: Much better, thank you *drops pitchfork*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)

See what I did there?
No witch, not me.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Yeah that was well genius
I bow in a distinctly non-Pagan fashion to your superior knowledge of muscles, jogging, fishery and witchcraft
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Heeheehee!
*picks up pitchfork*
*runs*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:34, Reply)

You're welcome to it
I live in Norfolk. Can't walk down the street without tripping over spare farming implements
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:36, Reply)

*Runs up hill*
Ha! You'll never be able to follow now!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Hey! No teleportation allowed when running away!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:49, Reply)

I'm running up the North Downs
We have HILLS!

See my mighty hills!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I appear to have turned into Brian Blessed
*mental note to self - shave beard before weekend*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Sorry, I'm a boy
You say "hills", my mind goes "breasts". We are but simple creatures.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Imagine Brian Blessed with breasts

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)