I am positively jiggling in my seat with anticipation of having the afternoon off to watch the football
so I suppose you could say I'm putting off work, but that's hardly news.

I have also put off shaving for several days, as for both the other two games I was clean-shaven. If we win by several today I'm going to look like Tom Hanks in Castaway pretty soon. Sexyyyyyy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 8:45, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

oh are England playing tonight?
hope I don't get caught up in the celebrations/commiserations...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 8:50, Reply)

They're playing at 3pm
So by 5pm the nation will either be celebrating or mourning, or for that tiny minority who don't have an interest in football, bumdering. What time are you traveling?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 8:57, Reply)

635
so 400 check in, leave here about 1 i'd say? I always like to have plenty of time.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 8:59, Reply)

You'll be fine then
According to the football-crazed media, England will "grind to a halt" for the match so hopefully the roads should be relatively clear and the airport reasonably devoid of fucktards. Well played
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Can you check in online?
Then you just have to turn up less than an hour before departure, drop off your bags and go straight to the gate.

It avoids a great deal of queuing with smelly people and their screaming kids.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

ooh, i am checked in online.
still don't want to be late though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I don't do late either
but being there 2 and a half hours before departure is a tad excessive if you've already checked in.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Oh dear, what a ghastly prospect.
I fear I shall be trying to get home immediately after ‘the match’. I’m not sure which would be worse, jubilant simians or elated DEJECTED ones.

Bellowing mongols draped in flags are bad news either way, I suspect. I think on balance I’d prefer ‘Engerland’ to lose, because it will upset a load of peasants. Seeing their sorrowful little downcast badly-painted faces on the tube, with their wholly unrealistic ‘dreams’ of ‘glory’ lying in Foster’s-flavoured tatters around them, would raise a nasty sneering little smile upon my otherwise flawless visage.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:02, Reply)

That was very poetic and well-written, as we have come to expect from you, Mr Boyce
But nonetheless it basically translates as "I am a bumder"

Also, could you differentiate between jubilant and elated simians?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:04, Reply)

jubilant means rejoicing, elated means lifted up, happy.
and even your initials spell Massive Bumder.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:07, Reply)

And thanks to you
I'm a friend of Dorothy.

Also; my initials could equally well spell Monty Boyce...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:12, Reply)

oh i diem't realise that...
that excites me more than it should. Though Monty excites me more than he should.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Isn't he old enough to be your grandfather?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)

not quite.
I seem to be growing out of my queen-of-the-paedos phase...
I do remember shouting at the bash "I don't fancy Monty, I just love him" The poor thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I'm not sure which state of affairs I'd prefer
Actually that's bollocks, I do know, and so does he
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:33, Reply)

The subhuman grunting is slightly higher-pitched
when they are dejected.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Ah, but you didn't say dejected
Although dejected would have made a lot more sense. Depending upon results today the football-loving masses will be either very happy or very sad, but you gave us two versions of the former. Tsk.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Boo hoo!
I've only had 2 hours' sleep, forgive me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I might print this out and frame it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I think DF
was referring to the fact that 'jubilant' and 'elated' are similar emotions, whereas if England were to lose, the mood of the people would be described by neither of these words.

(Except in Scotland, of course)


Edit - ^^ as I thought
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Good work Mr K
I'm going to table this now, pre-emptively - Scotland have no right to crow if England get knocked out, because they at least qualified. The Irish, on the other hand, are perfectly entitled to laugh at France's piss-poor showing on account of the French cheating to qualify at Ireland's expense
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Oh, no, you misunderstand
The Scots would not crow about it. It's pure Schadenfreude at seeing England lose, rather than a feeling of superiority.

We all know the Scottish team is pish. Even when we thought we were going to Argentina to win the cup in 1978 under Ally McLeod, then ended up being thumped by Peru. We look back on that and laugh about it now.

But many Scots have a right chip on their shoulder about the English, and are part of the ABE (anyone but England) brigade. I must admit I'm sick and tired of the media hype but I'm not really caring whether the England team do well or badly. I haven't even watched a whole match in the World Cup.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Didn't actually realise you were Scottish
otherwise I might have been more personal with the above :-) I have to admit I'm glad I wasn't quite born at the time of the '78 World Cup. To see Scotland heading off to Argentina with what looked like a decent team whilst we missed out for the second time running would have been excruciating. The weird thing is that in such circumstances I think most English people, my Dad for example, cheered for Scotland in England's absence. I don't get that. Sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Yeah, I know
Most English cheer on the Scots if they're not playing England. Most Scots cheer on whoever's playing England. A small minority are ambivalent. A negligible number actively support England when they're playing.

I'm one of the ambivalents. I don't see any point in cheering on a team other than one's own, but I don't hate the English team so I don't really care.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Seconded
I'll cheer for Wales as I'm half-Welsh but only as long as they're not playing England. Not much point anyway. They're shit.

I have been taking an interest in New Zealand's fortunes in this World Cup, mostly because I have family out there but partly because seeing them hold the World Champions to a draw was fucking hilarious
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:36, Reply)

after having lived in Wales for 4 years
I got put right off Welsh sporting teams. The Welsh are the worst losers and manage somehow to be even worse winners.

Fortunately when I was at uni we consistently thrashed the shit out of them at rugby.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:38, Reply)

You were a rugby player?
That explains a lot...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:46, Reply)

by we I meant England
I played rugby for my school for a couple of years when I started secondary school.

by the time I got to uni I was far too stoned all the time to even contemplate playing rugby. and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have played. Have you seen rugby boys? fucking awful quasi-benders.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:50, Reply)

^this in spades
Never played on a rugby team, but more than once have encountered the braying public school arseholes that make them up, who seem to adore games that involve getting naked and performing debasing acts in the presence of other braying public school arseholes or pissing in your mate Biffo's pint while Belcher cracks one out into his kit-bag. WHIZZO!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:54, Reply)

so true
that sort of thing is very much not for me

(I was particularly proud of my quasi-benders remark)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I like it
and think you should find more ways to use it in conversation.

(And likewise, I too prefer my biscuits crunchy...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Officelol

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:01, Reply)

When I thought you were a rugby man
I was going to accuse you of chronic bumdering and smuggery on account of this hobby. I am pleased that you agree wholesale with my opinion of the sport, and also that I wasn't wrong about the smuggery.

In all fairness "quasi-benders" is an awesome word
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

sm b
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:00, Reply)

My secondary school was full of itself
And invested heavily in the rugby team (financed tours abroad etc). I was on the fencing team, who were arguably more successful despite being largely self-funded. The rugby team were adamant that fencing, aka hitting people with swords, is totally gay compared to rugby, a game where you roll in the mud with men and grab their nuts, then shower with them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I love you, so much.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:06, Reply)

If they were actually bellowing Mongols of the Ghengis Khan variety it'd be quite amusing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:12, Reply)

The prose is nothing short of beautiful

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Fuck me, this is a masterpiece.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 23:46, Reply)