Quote from the 1st night of the blousie/bk bash
"the difference between 9/11 and piston.broke's standup is that piston didn't bring the house down" - Boss Keloid
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 20:50, 11 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am there in spirit
call someone a cunt from me, and then motorboat whoever has the biggest tits there
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Can someone spiritually punch Berts spirit right in the spirit face
and then kick it's spiritual testicles as it lies on the floor.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Can somebody please give al a cuddle, I think he needs it
and maybe a biscuit and a lie down too
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:02, Reply)

I just had a biscuit
it was a chocolate rich tea
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Ooooh, you lucky tart!

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:04, Reply)

I had tart on Tuesday
But I had to finish it as it would have gone stale.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:07, Reply)

What are you doing in on a Friday night, Al?
If you don't mind my asking. Or are you at the bash, hiding in a corner somewhere?

EDIT Also, some joke about your Mrs being a stale tart
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:10, Reply)

It wasn't my mrs
it was your ex. I picked her up from primary school the week before which is why she was starting to go off.

I'm planning my wedding Bert, at the moment I'm tidying up my speech and putting the table plan together.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:12, Reply)

Ah, that sounds lovely
are you getting excited/ever so slightly worried?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Well I don't know
I mean there's you, which is a prime example of how a marriage goes wrong, and that terrifies me, but then there are my parents, who are still happily married, so it clearly can work.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:17, Reply)

You have a 50/50 chance, same as everybody else
but despite the wedding jitters, you will smile more on your wedding day than just about any other day of your life.
Your cheeks will hurt, and you might wonder exactly why you're smiling so much, but you'll be smiling like a big mong anyway.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 21:21, Reply)