Well, whilst I've the chance
*clears throat*
*shuffles dead horse into place*
*finds whip*
*deep breath*

++BUMDER ALERT. WE HAVE REPORTS OF A BUMDER IN THE AREA. THIS BUMDER IS A STEALTHY OLD BUGGER, EXCUSE THE PUN, OPERATING UNDER THE COVER OF A STRAIGHT MAN BY REGULARLY MENTIONING HIS HOT MISSUS. (TO BE FAIR, SHE IS RATHER HOT. ALMOST TOO HOT, IF YOU SEE WHAT I'M GETTING AT)

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A MALE WHO CAN DANCE WELL AND IS LIABLE TO MENTION THE EYE-WATERINGLY CAMP TELEVISION SERIAL GLEE AT THE DROP OF A HAT OR PAIR OF TROUSERS, AND WHOSE INITIALS COULD POTENTIALLY STAND FOR "MASSIVE BUMDER." THIS IS THE BUMDER. HE IS A BUMDER. ALL THOSE IN POSSESSION OF A POSTERIOR ARE ADVISED TO PRESS IT FIRMLY AGAINST A SOLID BRICK WALL, FIRM FLOOR OR POSSIBLY A METAL FILING CABINET IF THAT'S ALL THAT'S AVAILABLE. THOSE WHO ARE REQUIRED TO MOVE AROUND TO COMPLETE ESSENTIAL TASKS WILL PRESENTLY BE ISSUED WITH A PAIR OF REINFORCED CAST-IRON PANTALOONS; THE DISCOMFORT YOU WILL FEEL FROM WALKING IN THESE WILL BE NOTHING COMPARED TO THE DISCOMFORT YOU WILL FEEL FOR WEEKS ON END AFTERWARDS IF THE BUMDER IS ALLOWED TO VISIT HIS DEVIOUS BUMDERISMS UPON YOU. (TRUST ME, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN FOR A MONTH.) BUMDER ALERT. BUMDER ALERT. HE'S STILL HERE, SOMEWHERE, AND HE'S STILL A BUMDER. BUMDER ALERT. FOR GOD'S SAKE KEEP AN EYE OUT ELSE HE'LL BE KEEPING A JAP'S EYE OUT FOR YOUR THIRD ONE. BUMDER ALERT.++
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:23, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I am actually going to miss this
Tears of laughter. Genuinely. You must get on Facebook, friend me and post such things on my wall
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I shall miss having you to abuse
Unfortunately, there are various reasons why, as a matter of pride if nothing else, I shall never join Facebook. I shall simply have to find other closet bumders to abuse over the course of the day, and then hunt you down in the evenings to hound you out of the closet.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Gaz me every once in a while so I don't forget my place
"Just logging on to B3ta to see if The Supreme Crow's abused me today, dear!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 12:21, Reply)