BLACK. THE TOP GUN ATHEM PLAYS.
VO: In 1980 a baby was born. The baby became a man, who became an old man, who became a God. This is his story.

STARRING:

Michael Caine as "Old, looking back on his life, DiT"
Shia The Beef as "Young, wisecracking, not-at-all irritating DiT"
Joanna Lumley as "Old, but still inexplicably hot and sexually active Flim Flam the Magnificent"
Scarlett Johansson as "Look, basically she's eye candy and no-one can quite believe she's with DiT, and she doesn't have much to do other than look at DiT like he's a hero, young Flim Flam the Magnificent"

FEATURING:

Sue Johnson as "Mum"
Timothy Spall as "Dad"
David Frost as "Arsehole Stepdad"
Bob Carolgees as "Potentially gay Stepdad #2"
Robert De Niro as "Maybe Mum finally got it right Stepdad #3"

ALSO WITH:

The Queen as "Gran"
David Niven as "Papa"

INTRODUCING:

Optimus Prime as "Himself"

DIRECTED BY:

Michael "This Shit Just Got Real" Bay
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:49, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I knew you wouldn't let us down

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Your mum has a weird taste in men.
Does she post on B3ta?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Very much no.
Also, the people haven't been selected for their looks, with the exception of Frost (but think Frost from the 60s) and Carolgees. Just for how they'd carry the character of a) a sweaty drunk (who looked like Benny Andersen in his youth) and b) a cool ex fireman.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Me thinks you doth protest too much.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Totally agreeing with Robert De Niro

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)