Technically not true
as it's not my real name

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you granny-shagging shitehawk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

That certainly told me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Yep.
I was doing my victory dance before I even hit "post this message"

I'm still doing it now

Picture it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I can't.
I'm too busy picturing me drilling into your kneecaps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Be honest
kneecaps anus

Aren't I bit young for your tastes?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

If I thought it would traumatise you
I could probably muster up a semi.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Do you REALLY think
that the sight of a half-arsed erection would traumatise me?

Suddenly I'm reminded of that scene in Human Traffic where the doctor is claiming that ecstasy will prevent you from getting a stiffy, and John Simm just sort of looks a bit upset. Watched that film recently. It has not aged well.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Bit like your mum.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

*slow clap*
Brilliant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

The only reason he knows about your mum
is because they sit in the window together at the home reminiscing.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

My Mum's at DisneyWorld having the time of her life
whereas Monty is getting angry at the internet. And yet she's 25 years older than him.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Your MUM is at Disney World?
Has she got Down's Syndrome?

The hideous vulgarity of that place is offputting to most people over the age of about 12.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

My Mum's retired and can do whatever the hell she wants with her time
You can look forward to the same experience once the government stops raising the age of retirement just as you've nearly reached it. Although once you are a gentleman of leisure, you'll probably still spend all your time insulting randoms online
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'll be dead long before retirement age.

PS you've misspelled 'retarded'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

We all will if Cameron gets his way

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Wasn't raising the retirement age a Labour idea?
I'm not saying at was, it's a genuine query.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Initially, I believe so
The current government jumped on it quicker than Vipros on a croissant though. Does that make it Labour's fault for having the idea or the Tories' for having none of their own?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I have to confess,
if I am honest I resent paying for the pensions of a bunch of oiks who had their entire working loves to provide for themselves in retirement but failed to do so. In the good old days the poor did at least have the good manners to die young.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

^ I like this

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

So do I
Which makes our japery below look all the more childish
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Make the theme music to the victory dance Bowie
just to really show him.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Oh not you as well.
You two should form a comedy duo. It'd be like 'Wise & Wise'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

As opposed to you and Chompy
Dull and Duller
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Hahaha!
Good comeback
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Hear that, Bobby? Monty thinks we're CLEVER!


Disclaimer: yes I know what you mean, thanks to the BBC's declining output in the 80's repeats of classic comedy were commonplace, so we don't need to be as old as you to have seen The Breakfast Dance
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Me likey old man words

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Let's Dance would actually make a pretty good Cha Cha Cha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I don't really know how the Cha Cha Cha goes
but if Bowie's music works I'll wear spandex.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Not for a Cha Cha Cha you wouldn't
You'd rupture something. Might work for a Rumba though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

get a room you three

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

THE PAIR OF YOU:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STOP IT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

You won't spoil my fun grandad
*does a wheelie and flicks Monty the bird*
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Don't be mean Bobby
Maybe if we let Monty share our penny mix he'll let us play with his garden gnomes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:43, Reply)

No way haven't you heard about the creepy old man at the end of the street
he stays in all day doing MASSIVE DRUGS and occasionally shouting at the youths for liking the wrong music. He might be a raper!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Oh, OK, well just keep swapping our Panini stickers until the Dukes of Hazzard is on then
This is awesome, I haven't felt young in years. Thanks for being so decrepit Monty
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)