Well I'm DEFINITELY a gangster rapper, so that's 1 to start with.
However I am no longer a fornicator so I'm back down to 0
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:12, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

f'sizzle
*does knuckle bump*
( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Ow! That hurt!
*wonders if the whole 'gangster rapper' career may be ill-thought-out*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:14, Reply)

No way man, if that hairlipped Phoenix bloke can become one
you should be a shoe-in
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Joaquin is a rapper?
you are shitting me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)

nah River
from beyond the grave cos he's hard-core
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:20, Reply)

He's in this crew:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE-5Q_xyiwo
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)

dude he went mental and relaunched himself as a rapper. Walk the Line broke him.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)

interestingly
(according to wikipedia anyway) it's not a hair lip, he has a birthmark on his lip which looks like a hair lip scar thing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:24, Reply)

wrong hair Vipros
hare-lip it is
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

what a twat
I knew that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

of course you did
proximity to bobbychompy isn't sucking your brain dry at all
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I am not that stupid!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)

didn't really think about it
then I was going to blame it on wikipedia having the wrong spelling, but it doesn't actually mention hare-lips (or hair lips) at all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I now am thinking about Allo Allo

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

since you're here
did you enjoy Dance, Dance, Dance (Revolution)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Not started it yet. Reading The Girl Who Played With Fire. Dance cubed is next on my list.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)

He's going to try
and he's goanna do it sporting some impressive facial hair
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)

wait a minute - racist ? BACK UP TO 1, OH YES.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)

The Gentleman Rapper
sippin' on cognac while he polishes his rapier
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:16, Reply)

He's cruisin' the streets
an' picking up flappers
( Kroney, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:17, Reply)

He gotta keep his pimp hand strong
as it has been suggested in studies that those with a dominant left hand may not live as long as their right-handed compatriots.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I read a paper on that
the premise was that the author's pimping hand had gone limp. He went on to suggest that he's a pirate, lost his booty, he's a pimp without a dog without a bone.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

check out The Correspondents
particularly their song Rogue.

Reminds me of Monty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Actually Smooth B from golden age legends Nice N Smooth
was known amongst my friends as 'the posh rapper'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)

rapier pork sword
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Monocled MC kickin' shit to the peasantz
Step in my path and I'll be rather unpleasant.
Stately home nigga from the upper class:
My midget butler could kick yo' fuckin' ass.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Nothing will ever top this. Never.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

^POTD

because you can't issue it to yourself.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Serve you haterz up like a brace of pheasants

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I wish I'd thought of that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Step on stage and the crowd applauds
Hereditary position in the House of Lords
Cruise the fuckin' streets in an antique Bentley
Safe in my position in the landed gentry.

My style's unique, make you fraudz bleed
Old skool sneakerz made of Harris Tweed
Freshest pimp in the whole wide world because
You know another nigga with Adidas plus fours?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

We need to find someone to lay down some phat beats
and this could be a hit
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I wrote it for the beat of 'Sucka MC's' by Run DMC

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I thoguht about trying my own but the only beat I could think of was
fix UP look SHAAAARRRRP and I'm not sure it fits the Gentleman Rapper persona.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Apart from the bit about "staying true to his grammar"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

That's one of the best beats ever and entirely appropriate
The original record is 'Big Beat' by Billy Squier, a rock classic in its own right:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcQYgrm6Vv0

Fucking LOVE.IT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Ooh thank you now I know the original track
Though I am quite ashamed to admit I only just found out that Can't Touch This used a sample.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I've done whole sets
of 'records you don't know, but know a tune that sampled it' before, smart-arse twat that I am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

You'll probably hate him
but Girl Talk are well worth a listen. My favourite album of his opens with a rapper talking about his bitch over the Spencer Davis Group. Fantastic. There have been many songs that I hear snatches off and then realise what they are from that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)