True, and the same goes for the bad habit of including a bad sexual metaphor or simile in every other sentence.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:44, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I complained about Pooflake doing that
but PC shot me down with an irony burn.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Gaypond used to be good at them. In fact, I must admit I found Spanky funny when he first started.
But there are numerous dead horses in that genre that have been flogged even longer and harder than one of my old "Bumder Alerts."

Edit: And then just look at the great big throbbing metaphors in that! I'm such a fucking hypocrite.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Yeah I quite liked Spanky's first few
and really, his stories would still be quite entertaining if he didn't lace them with all the inneundos. I know everyone got fed up with Legless' wild stories, but I always thought they were entertaining and really that's all I'm looking for on a Thursday lunchtime.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I would have liked his stories better
If it didn't feel like he was using some kind of specially designed formula to produce them

Embarrassing position to be found in + explicit mention of sex/masturbation + overwrought metaphors = Best Of page. You could probably programme a bot to do it for you - Spankybot 2.0
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Or a phallic paperclip that pops up as you type
"Hello. It looks as though you're trying to write a surefire hit for QOTW. Would you like help?
- Yes please, I would benefit from a template and a host of dodgy metaphors and euphemisms
- No thanks, I have enough depraved sexual fantasies lurking in the back of my mind for a lengthy, lengthy run of these. (Apologies for length!)"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)

effectively they were just a very complicated way of telling people
that he has sex sometimes.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:59, Reply)