To try and answer your post properly.
I'd be upset at your parents wanting to spend a lot of money on your wedding if you want a small/mediocre (your word) wedding. After all, it's your day - not theirs.

Why are you (possibly) upset at your brother/sister? It is because they are getting married close to the date you're getting wed, or because it's all a bit cloak and dagger?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 17:56, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I don't want a small wedding
but I couldn't afford a big one. The fact that every time I say: "oh, well, it's ok, we'll do with that" they come back with "oh, no, we can't allow your big day to be spoiled by this, we'll pay for it" doesn't make me upset at all. In any case, I'm being as sensible as always and getting a lot of things from friends for free.

I'm upset about them not telling anyone. Doing it in secret and as if it was just a game (2 weeks ago my sister was complaining that she couldn't stand her boyfriend anymore, and now they're going to marry). We're inviting them to a big party, we want them to share such a big moment of our lifes with us. They can't be bother to even tell anyone.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:00, Reply)

it's entirely up to them
just as yours is entirely up to you.

The main thing that I have found in planning my wedding is that I neither want, nor need most people's opinion on it. There are some aspects where it is interesting to find out how other people went about things, or how much they got ripped off, but mainly we are going our own way.

We're doing what we can to suit our budget, and are having a medium sized wedding in our home town in a reasonably classy hotel, it's not going to be massively fancy, nor is it the other end of the scale.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:04, Reply)

How many people is a medium sized wedding these days?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:06, Reply)

I think we've got 77 at the moment
actually, that probably counts as small these days
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:11, Reply)

I have to go to a cousins wedding
in October. But I might bow out and leave them another space. I suspect I am in the list of must ask relatives
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:13, Reply)

I went down a similar route
Although there was a lot of 'pressure' to invite people who were friends of both sets of parents as they were paying towards it.

Had to draw the line there as there were other people who were important to us who we were unable to invite.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:07, Reply)

we have no pressure fortunately
mrs V's parents are chipping in a bit, but don't want any control.

There are no politics at mine either. I could sit anyone with anyone and it'd be fine. Probably boring for most, but fine.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Apart from a few people I wouldn't have invited as I don't know them much
and a cheaper dress, everything else is more or less as we wanted it. It'll be a fun wedding in a banana plantation.

They're not getting married there because that's what they want to do. They are doing it as a souvenir, because they're going to Vegas and everybody marries in Vegas. Mark and I are going to promise to look after each other for the rest of our lifes, we think it's a very important step and something you should think carefuly so you don't have a mistake. They're just doing it because they get a fun picture.

If they were eloping I wouldn't be upset. I think I don't like the fact they degrade something I consider so important, making my vows 1 month later stupid on their eyes, as they've just done the same for fun.

I don't like either my sister trying to tease me with stupid questions like "you realize that you're going to be the last one getting married, eh?"

Anyway... I'm going home now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:11, Reply)

in that case
they are fucking fools and I sympathise with your annoyance!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 18:12, Reply)