Best Peter Cook story
was about Elizabeth Taylor when she was at her largest and had said in the press that her weight was due to her glands.

Apparently Cook said "yep, her glands wait until she's in her hotel room on her own, then jump up, order 8 chocolate eclairs on room service and cram them down her neck when nobody's looking"

(needs to be said in Cook's distinctive tone for full effect)
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:25, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

He is my ultimate hero of wit.
Compared to him the likes of cocaine rapist Charles are but grains of sand in a desert of mediocrity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Cook discovered Dudley More shagging a young woman in his dressing room when he should be getting ready to go on stage.

Cook: "If you *do* decide to come on stage, Dudley, make sure you take her off your penis first".
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You see THAT is funny.
'Smegging smeggy smeg' is not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)