Somebody has just driven past my office in an Audi R8 with a completely chrome paintjob. He looks like a weapons grade cock.
What displays of attention seeking have you witnessed recently?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:14, 230 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh God
I found this site chock full of beakers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Ha.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Didn't El Hadji Diouf do this on his car?
The fucking bellend

Edit: here

Like Labia Majora said down there, fat birds in leggings showing their fat lumpy arses off - why??
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Cos they is lookin 4 cock.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

.
4 like
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

This
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post881969
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:21, Reply)

My dad has suddendly decided I'm an idiot for wanting to get a fucking life and move
Part of me thinks my mother is involved. I dunno why he cares he keeps claiming he's going to miss me but I see him maybe every other week for dinner (so three or four hours max)I think he's being selfish as he doesn't want me to sell my car because he likes it? It's just a fucking car. Ugh.
/emo

feigned intrest in OP: I saw a ferrari with the number plate "81G 80Y"
But I also saw a Box It van with the number plate T1 XOB which amused me slightly.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:23, Reply)

nah it has to be true
how will he cope without the sweetness and light happy feelings you bring to a room?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I shall repost my favourite number plate story
about 8-10 years ago in london, there was a gentleman of the Afro-Caribbean persuasion (this will become relevant later) who had a brand new TVR Tuscan, full fucking chameleon paintjob, the works. I'd see him cruising round the centre, drum'n'bass blaring.

Hi numberplate? N1 GGA.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

there was a guy in Blackburn who I assume wanted his plate to read My Nigger
but it said MI NGR.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

hahahahaha. Oh blimey.
proper actual roffle there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I saw MR55 EXY the other day
spaced so as to read Mrs Sexy.

I checked and I think there's a Trade Descriptions Act case there.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:05, Reply)

my mum was sad when I moved out
but that was because she was left with my sister who was a bitch.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Saw a 911
done up this way the other day.

It just looks like plastic. Horrible.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

there's an SLK around here that's chromed to the hilt
it does just look like it's made of that fake mirror stuff you used to get on Barbie's dressing table.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Without getting into "why the fuck would you own an SLK, let alone chrome it?"
are you sure it wasn't an SLR?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

mebbe.
I didn't get close enough. It was a fancy Merc.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

You can buy an SLR as standard chromed.
It looks like a big SLK. Only it costs £300,000.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I'll empty my piggy bank

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

X Factor.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I can't watch that - makes me too angry.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)

It's one of the joys of being single
not having to watch X Factor or Pop Idol or Dancing on Ice etc
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I quite like Strictly Come Dancing if there is nothing else on.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

You are Darth Cumshot AICMFP

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I resent that
Strictly jumped the shark years ago
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)

So you never watch it?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I always say I'm not going to, it just pisses me off now
The missus always watches it, though. The thing is that occasionally someone will actually get it and it'll be thoroughly watchable, and the professional demonstrations are always awesome. But the last series was just preposterous. Chris fucking Hollins, I ask you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

what the hell does jumped the shark mean?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

a TV programme or film franchise that is past it's best.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Never heard that before.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

What he said
It's based on an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie quite literally jumps over a shark on a jetski. For some reason, whereas up to that point Happy Days had always been great TV, thereafter it bit.

Opinion is widely divided and hotly debated as to at what point certain programmes jumped the shark. I would argue that Red Dwarf did so after the end of series 6 but there are some who would say that everything after series 4 was pap. These people are wrong. Do not trust them or accept their offer of sweeties.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Fantastic trivia. Thankyou for this.
Hard to decide about when Red Dwarf fluffed it really. I would have to rewatch the entire lot to decide. Heroes 'jumped the shark' after season 2.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Amazingly I still haven't seen Heroes
Popular opinion suggests the shark-jumping happened BEFORE series 2, which would be pretty fucking bad. Not as bad as Little Britain, which becomes unwatchable shit once you've seen every sketch once
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

first series was alright
second one started shit, so I stopped watching.

Little Britain was unwatchable right from the start
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I thought series 2 was ok. Series 3 just dropped a bollock from second one.
I like Walliams and Lucas but Little Britian is appalling. Not one funny sketch.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I can't abide either of them
I think they are awful annoying tossers.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

This is how I feel about the Mighty Boosh
Noel Fielding on his own is really quite funny but the Mighty Boosh is just irritating.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I like it
but that's because I liked the radio show first and that is much better.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Same here, the radio show was fantastic.
The tv show was ok, I loved the music.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Fielding's little brother is a fucking FREAK.
He should be culled.

And the show is terrible. Not in the least bit witty or amusing. Apart from 'Old Gregg', a one-off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Only because you are Old Gregg
would you like some Baileys?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Red Dwarf jumped the fucking shark
two nanoseconds into the opening credits in episode one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I agree Monty
let's together belittle others for their enjoyment of it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

It's 'Simpsons Tie', and 'Iron Maiden'
made by and for the Colin Hunts in IT, for them to watch in moments when they're not cracking one off over Terry 'now where did I put that stupid hat, I just can't seem to remember anything these days' Prat-shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Who also spend time trying to learn Klingon, spread conspiracy theories, and ironing their Winnie the Pooh socks.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

ironing wanking into
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

No mummy told them off about their "emissions" so they have to do that in the bath once a week

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Oh, man
fucking agreeing with Monty, here. I feel wronger than a wrong thing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

It makes you feel all cold and scared inside doesn't it?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I'm rocking in the corner and crying right now
which, as I'm running a second year tutorial, is A BAD THING.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

You are a grumpy old stubborn arse.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

a grumpy old stubborn arse SO RIGHT Monty.

Repeatedly saying 'smeg' in place of actual wit is fucking pathetic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

no, but, see.
If you constantly make jokes about curry and lager causing bottom problems as well, that turns it into bleeding-edge comedy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

*takes notes*
If only Peter Cook had known this. And Oscar Wilde.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Best Peter Cook story
was about Elizabeth Taylor when she was at her largest and had said in the press that her weight was due to her glands.

Apparently Cook said "yep, her glands wait until she's in her hotel room on her own, then jump up, order 8 chocolate eclairs on room service and cram them down her neck when nobody's looking"

(needs to be said in Cook's distinctive tone for full effect)
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

He is my ultimate hero of wit.
Compared to him the likes of cocaine rapist Charles are but grains of sand in a desert of mediocrity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Cook discovered Dudley More shagging a young woman in his dressing room when he should be getting ready to go on stage.

Cook: "If you *do* decide to come on stage, Dudley, make sure you take her off your penis first".
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You see THAT is funny.
'Smegging smeggy smeg' is not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

oh yeah, of course. Thanks for being the final word on everything Monty
I'm so happy that you are here to correct me on what I like and don't like. Do you not think your inability to appreciate someone elses opinion might be a hindrance? Cause sometimes you can be a right mong for someone who harps on about right all the time.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Does it take your mind off your period pains?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

hahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

angry horny
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)

^This

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I put some new gaffer tape on the broken rear bumper of my 12 y/o Mondeo
Ooo get me
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)

On Sunday my son scored a try in his under 7s rugby tournament...
...and celebrated by doing the 'one-hand-on-her-back-and-the-other-smacking-her-arse' dance.
*prouds*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Good parenting skillz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Next week I will show him the gang sign...
...for West Compton in case they have a school photo.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Did he do the thrusting movement as well?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Yep - his little hips were grindin'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Kids grow up so quickly nowadays...
one day they are playing with toys, the next they are spit roasting hookers in an under 7 post match victory gang-bang
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Maybe they should make a 'Shandy Bass' version...
...of MASSIVE DRUGS just to prepare them for later life.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Fantastic

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)

That was TGB - don't be so rude.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Chrome?
I don't think so dharling Gold plated all the way
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)

My eyes....
...for the love of jebus, why?

Mercedes, sponsored by Elizabeth Duke?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:42, Reply)

It's my weekend car
In the week I have a more sensible ride Check out the flames! OOOOOH
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I quite like that.
I don't think I would drive it but I wouldn't brand the owner a dick just from the car.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

psst
TGB drives an Audi, get branding.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Audi drivers are awesome

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

only Audi drivers think that.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I think she's on to us, I heard 'the vagina' growl.
Run!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I'd feel less of a bellend in that Smart car
Even if the front of it looks like Goldie's mouth.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Now that is an example of appalling bad taste.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)

leave TGB alone

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

No that's just mildly bad
If it's appalling you're after...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Fucking hell.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

It looks like Liberace's been at it
There must be some sort of aesthetic competance test that people should be made to take before they buy a car or after they win the lottery.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Nice to see mine and Lab's hard work
creating a cool yet humorous personalised logo especially for you, has been loving put on your profile.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Sorry what part did you have in doing it?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

It was my idea. I asked him to do it.

Without my vision it would not exist.

Apology accepted.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I can't find it now
Find it for me Monty so I can put it on my profile with the caption

OMG GOD LOOK WHAT THE TOTALLY MAZINGMONTY MADE FOR ME!!!!!!
lab may have helped
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

here
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

DONE

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

AWESOMEZ

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Ha
Monty Boyce = Andy Warhol
Labia Majora = The artists at the Factory who did the actual work
TGB = Valarie Solanas
(Cave Duck, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Who the hell made you that pic
with my face name on it?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)

You're so vain
You probably think that picture is all about you, don't you? don't you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I'll admit, I did.
But I saw it for the first time on your profile. I thought cr3 was taunting me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

stalker

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

you knows it. and you loves it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I do love it a little bit

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

It displays the login name of whoever views it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)

spoil sport

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Car: £100k (or whatever)
Paint Job: £25k (or wahtever)
Being able to play real life monopoly: Priceless.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Forget about that, listen to me
I've been coerced into being seconded to a client organisation in one of their offices 70 miles from where I live. I've spent about a week saying no and gradually the pressure has built until I've had to capitulate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)

70 miles in which direction?
South might be problematic.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

east
to a place called Blandford. It's as exciting as it sounds.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

for how long?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

How long will the secondment be?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

3 months I think
it's not full time, 3 or 4 days a week I think. Means staying away from home though, which blows.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Blandford Forum?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

yup

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Been there with work a few times
I seem to remember it had a nice pub and Indian restaurant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

good to know

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I think there was a decent hotel there too
Though things may have changed a lot since I've been there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

hopefully it hasn't become more shit
I have no idea of the finer details yet such as where I might end up staying, or how I might get there etc.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

HOW WOZ DA CURRY? IT WAS A LITTLE BLAND ! LOLOLOLOLOLOL

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Can you use this to get them to pay for fixing your car?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

that would be nice. expenses have already gone someway towards that anyway
My mrs needs the car, so I'm hoping that I will be able to get a lease or something, otherwise it will be a load of shitty train travel, and pretty much being stuck once I am there.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

You could try and get them to hire you a car
Would probably work out cheaper than trains/hotels
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I will get them to hire a car
but I'm fucked if I'm driving 150 miles a day and getting up early and leaving late to maintain office hours. They can put me up in a hotel or B&B or something
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)

It was instead of being away from home
Whatever works!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I struggle to get here for 9am
and I live about 15 minutes away by bus or bike. Trying to get somewhere 70 odd miles away would be almost impossible.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

But this could be an opportunity to network with leading players and touch base with your core interests

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)

*Stabs eighty-six times*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

But how does that meet the central business values?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Don't start missing your KPI's or we'll have to undertake a 360

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

The last thing we want is a paradigm shift within the mission statement

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Lets park that one yeah? The next thing I want to run up your flagpole is...

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I agree, lets put it to bed to ensure we sing from the same hymn sheet in future actions

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

The core's failing! SHE CAN'T TAKE NO MORE CAP'AIN!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

the only advantage of it
is that I've worked with the guys there a lot, and we get on very well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

and this
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315732/Gordon-Ramsay-chef-Joseph-Cerniglia-dead-suicide-jump-river.html
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I think you should take a leaf out of his book.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Shout at people in a restaurant?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Tangent alert.
You don't half look like Jay out of 'Jay and Silent Bob' in that see-saw picture.
Funnily enough his biography in IMDB starts "Jay is a foul-mouthed, thoughtless, dope-dealing, laughable..."
jay or monty
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I had been likened to Silent Bob in the past

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Shut the fuck up!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I look like Silent Bob - pic on profile if you doubt
Should Monty and I hang out all day together?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Absofuckinglutely
It would be hilariously violent, like old Tom and Jerry cartoons.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Silent Bob does not look like Fat Al got knocked up by Cavalier Al and drank all the way through the pregnancy.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

*EPIC GLEE* I was so waiting for this and as always you did not disappoint!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

TGB in mean comment happiness shocker.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Sadly, in this case I feel my comment is more accurate than malicious.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I am pretty, I love me

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

No you don't.
How could you?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Course I do
I'm ace me. I think you have montyitis.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

It's not like he's infectious.
...Is he?

*worries*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Because I like Wooks

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

ouch, woe is me................

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I've got a baseball cat and trench coat too.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Doesn't everyone?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I doubt it. I imagine the population of b3ta would harbour more people inclined
to own a trench coat but real people, nah.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I want a baseball cat!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I just spotted the typo. It's staying.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

No, you aren't listening
I WANT A BASEBALL CAT!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I UNDERSTAND BUT AM UNABLE TO FACILITATE YOUR REQUEST AT THIS TIME
YOU MASSIVE CUNT!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

fucksocks
On the Christmas list it goes then
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Cats are shit at baseball
You get one, maybe two good swings with one before they pop.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Batboresrogerthestarmentalist might be able to give you tips

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I don't think that would be a good idea.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I would love it,
We could do each others hair, and play each other songs we might like, cook for each other and have jolly good fun!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

doesn't sound like a particular loss to the gene pool

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Yesterday, inside about 4 hours, I learnt something new code-wise.
It's made me lol a few times, I can't wait to get it finished over this week in my spare time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)

how are your interviews going?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Good, I think !
I phoned up last thursday's one last night and they said they haven't decided yet, so I'm praying I get that one, as it seems ace.
I got a meeting at 3 today with a new company which I think it'll result in a re-design / re-build of their current site. It's a really budget-concious charity, so I won't make much money on it; but it'll help keep the wolf from the door and bulk up the CV
I've had 3 emails saying "We're taking your CV to the client" from verious agencys.

I've realised that in terms of work that I'm extreamlly proud off and show a large range of skills, there is only two sites. They show more or less everything I need to show, but it's not good that one of them is in development and one of them is a personal site. Portfolio is scarce 'cus I've spent the last year on just one site. So I should be able to knock out this lolsy facebook trolling site (that shows off that I can interact with FB), today's charity site, and my own personal profesional site.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Proofreader for hire if you need one gonzaroo :)

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Deffo !
I have a copywriter who's really established, but she isn't cheap in the slightest, sometimes she can take up to 30-40% of the site's entire budget. She was the lead copywriter for Signet; more specificily, the H.Samuel and Earnest Jones websites. She's my cousin, and she's amazing at what she does, but when a site is like £400-500 for 8 pages, and she's taking £25-35 a page, and that not including stock photography, it can be a bit much.

It's a very important aspect of the site; the wording; but on my scale I'm working on, it can push the job into being just about worth it for me.

She's created for me quite a bit of work in the past too though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Oh you can pay me in food

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

That sounds like a good deal !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

WOOHOO

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Good luck
I hope you get something awesome.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Thanks =D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Knock 'em dead, young sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Will do =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Saw a Range Rover with the reg number "W1C K3D"
Fucking beakering helmet.
( Kroney, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Oh, I also forgot
I used to play hockey at Chelsea's old training ground occasionally. Damion Duff's Range Rover had the numberplate "DUFFA" (no, I don't know how, legally, but it did).

And he used to moan about intrusion into his private life. Cock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

He looks like a mong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I don't really have that big a problem
with personalised reg numbers. But when they're spelling out an early nineties buzzword whilst attached to an already gaudy cock-mobile, I will suspend my otherwise fairly laidback attitude to them.

Just how big an attention-seeking clown do you have to be to think to yourself "My oversized Chelsea tractor doesn't get me enough attention, I'd best spend another couple of grand on getting me a reg that'll make me look well street, innit. I'll look almost exactly like LL Cool J then!"

It won't, but it will make your car look like the vehicular equivalent of Jordan, you total, total cock.
( Kroney, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Quick Straw Poll
Who has a private reg on b3ta?

I do - R30 MOO
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Nope
My reg ends in ABV, which is appropriate, but coincidental.

Edit: I see what you did there. Drive a Skyline, do you?
( Kroney, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)

No, a BMW
Why Skyline?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Earliest incarnation of the Skyline series was an R30

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Ahh
No, I got the plate from my missus for my 30th birthday
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Damn I did that thing again where I forgot you weren't a girl.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Hope this helps then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Awesome!
I've never influenced anyone's sig before. Except TGB but she was just being a bitch.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

*doffs cap*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Moi? A bitch? Surely not

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I was as surprised as you were

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Oh
that's how Nissan do the model numbers. R30, R32, R33 etc.

Don't mind me!
( Kroney, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I want one but some guy in Basingstoke has mine.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Which is?
Or have I missed something... is it K1TTY?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

No, it's a version of my actual name
and it would match my sister's which is in a similar style.

I'm totally checking for Kitty now though. My actual name plate on its own is £170,000.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I have a unique number plate
It's GX09BOF

I haven't seen any other bugger with it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

hehe
BOF
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

he used to beat up his bird from Emmerdale, that Sammy Winward chick.
allegedly.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)

OOOCHAYAFUCKAYA!
Just Googled - wow!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)

she didn't look that great with a black eye
bastard.

EDIT: I mean that Duff guy was a bastard, not you!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I am indeed a bastard though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I see a Lotus with the numberplate
GH05 TED

Which I think is a little cool *dons flame retardent suit*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I would never have a personalised plate, except perhaps if I could get W4 NKA

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

someone on my road has
MY 81TCH

which makes me laugh a lot
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

They don't.
Or at least they are running a false plate if they are. 81 plates won't come out until 2031.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Eh? You can have any combination of numbers and letters can't you?
You're just not allowed to make out a car is newer than it is.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

no, you can't.
You can only have plates after they are released. You can have any plate that has been previously released as long as it isn't registered on another car. (Edit) and, as you say, you can't make a car look newer than it is)

The current system uses two letters to signify the area (so all scots plates start S) and then two numbers for the year, for 6 month sections. So 02 and 52 were 2002. 12 and 62 are 2012, so 31 and 81 would be 2031.

If someone is running that plate it's probably MY51 TCH and maybe they've put screw heads in the 5 to look like an 8.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Pretty sure I saw this on a bimma once

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

M25 JAM was my favourite personal plate
sold for a fucking fortune though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:27, Reply)

F40 I saw in my childhood
had 8YE 8YE. Probably long gone.

Shakespeare fanatatic (or actor) on Chealsea Bank has cars with 2 BE and NOT 2 BE.

These two here: maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&q=chealsea,&sll=51.481637,-0.171833&sspn=0.009167,0.01929&ie=UTF8&split=1&rq=1&ev=zi&radius=0.5&hq=chealsea,&hnear=&ll=51.481797,-0.175459&spn=0.009167,0.01929&z=16&layer=c&cbll=51.481947,-0.175344&panoid=kmfVGgL-cvBdRYv-EEDLPw&cbp=12,103.97,,1,14.85
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I've seen those cars on the embankment & one of them is parked near my office a lot
Used to be a Bentley and an Aston, but the Aston has been swapped for an S63 S Class AMG Merc.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Well, at least he has good taste in Mercedes.
AHAHAHAHAHA
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

You can't have good taste in mercedes
you've demonstrated your lack of taste simply by buying one.

Although, why you would have an AMG S-class is utterly beyond me. It's like buying a comfortable reclining sofa then replacing all the cushions with razor wire.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I have to ask
...are they not frightfully vulgar?

(no offence, Sportscow)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Only if they aren't stupid, like mine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I think it depends what you are trying to achieve.
It's very British to find them vulgar, though. The Yanks generally have them, and transfer them from car to car, which actually makes more sense than our system, I think, as the plate gives you the driver not the car.

I'd have one if I thought it wasn't cunty. But I wouldn't pay lots of money for it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:29, Reply)

You can't get ones that are classified as offensive
so, for instance, P15 SED exists but P155 OFF doesn't. So I'm guessing W4 NKA is out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I guess I won't get to have
V491NAS any time soon then. :(
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I dunno, they have to identify it as offensive, that might sneak under the radar
Although, as it happened, I've just checked and that doesn't exist. Shame. Sorry :(
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 12:26, Reply)

no idea
What attention seeking means, I'd never do it myself, no sir.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

You can shut up
and all Miss.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

who asked you anyway? Sit down at the back and only speak when you're spoken to. Understand?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Are you feeling any better?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

freezing cold diet coke
Is helping thank you darling you ok?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Not too bad, thank you.
Some of my chums in the music business used to swear by the restorative qualities of Coca-cola – it was known on the tour bus as ‘The Black Doctor’…
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Full fat only
A flat can of that is a great pickmeup.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Coca-Cola was invented by Dr Pemberton to be a hangover cure (tru-fax - I used to work for Coca-Cola)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

urgh
Makes me retch
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:52, Reply)

my pre-clin med mates
used to put a saline drip in the fridge the night before and fire it up in the morning. Or before going to bed. I don't know why they aren't dead.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)