Repost as it got a bit congested.
Monty's birthday has made me think about gifts. What's the best and worst gift you've ever recieved?

Alt Q: What's the worst gift you've given and why?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 10:49, 35 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

fucking beaker.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Perhaps nobody cares.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)

bin dun

( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Wel...
First birthday gift I got from Mark was a really nice, really cool, really fashion, really orange... vacuum cleaner. I had been months saying that I needed a new vacuum cleaner and months saying that I wanted a gift that was practical, and he put both together. I was so upset with him for months.

Now it's been proved it was a good present, as I use it a lot and it's very good (and orange) but he knows not to buy me housework tools anymore as a gift.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)

What is it with women and presents?
Give a guy a hammer for a present, and he will be as happy as larry. Buy a woman something in the least bit practical, and she throws a wobbly.

I just don't get it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

It implies that you think vacuuming or whatever is their job
Apparently the gift of a dishwasher, as was given to Ms Foxtrot's stepmum by her dad, insinuated that the washing up was her responsibility and he was doing her a favour by way of the present. Given that I'm the only person who ever does any washing up in our house, if the same thing happened to me I'd be fucking delighted.

Also; women are a bit weird, aren't they
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'm not falling in with your bumder ways.
Women are lovely, but mental.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Agreed on both counts
The most frustrating thing in the world, for my money, is when you put all manner of thought and effort into a gift or gesture and they not only reject it but are positively offended by it, for some arbitrary reason which you couldn't possibly have anticipated without psychic powers or a time machine.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)

You're making me feel bad Darth.
It is my woman's birthday tomorrow, and she is of the I don't need anything persuasion. Yeah, like I'm going to fall for that.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Yeah we all know what would happen if you actually got her nothing
What have you got her? I wish I could suggest some sort of failsafe gift that's bound to go down a storm, but I don't think such a thing exists. Unless you can afford to keep and house a pony.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I know, I hate that
That's why I tried not to tell him, as he was so excited with the present, but after a while I couldn't stop myself and started crying. Ay...

Now he laughs at me for it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:46, Reply)

You started *crying*?
And he'd obviously put a lot of thought into it. After all, you said you wanted a hoover AND you wanted something practical for your birthday. I bet I can guess his reasoning "Ah-ha" he went, "she's dropping one of those cryptic hints that she seems to think I should understand. Well I got this one, I'm going to score serious brownie points here". And then he spent ages choosing the best vacuum he could get for the money because that's the kind of thing blokes do.

Then not only did you not like it, you actually CRIED at him. You're cruel.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I know
I feel so bad for it. But then, I never talk cryptic, if anything, he complains because I'm too direct sometimes.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I got a hammer
this Christmas just gone. It's a really nice Draper claw hammer. I spent ages hammering stuff in. I invented some cabling work so that I could bash in the little hooks with the hammer. On my last birthday I got a powered drill/screw driver.

Tools as presents are awesome. Women want pointless things that have no function other than looking pretty. Just remember that they're vacuous magpies and you'll never go wrong!

/misogynistic blog
( Kroney, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Sadly true I'm afraid
Gaz me a picture of your hammer when you can.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I want a MIG
for my next birthday. I'll never come out of the garage.

Hammer: www.diytools.co.uk/diy/Images/DB_Detail/_27748_140276.jpg
( Kroney, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'd be happier if I get a hammer as a present
than a house cleaning machine. Would you like a house cleaning machine yourself? Why do you have to assume that cleaning is women's task and DIY is men's task?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

If you want a hammer
ask for a hammer. You basically asked him for a hoover, so he got you one.

Edit: Yes, if I needed a house cleaning machine, I'd be happy if I got bought one.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:50, Reply)

No, I didn't ask for it
I said I needed one, but didn't ask for it. I was going to buy it myself when I had some money. I wanted him to buy me something practical and fun, like a bbq, or a wii game or a trip. Not a hoover.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)

You're right though, you'd have been happier with a hammer.
Hammers are awesome.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 12:01, Reply)

I got him this
www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=black+and+decker+adjustable+wrench&aq=f&aqi=g1&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

Awsome.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I bet the guy will love the hammer
if he likes doing DIY. Giving me a vacuum cleaner is assuming I like vacuuming (??) and cleaning the house. I don't like it. I do it because I have to.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Fuck it if it's bin dun
Shall I delete?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Stop deleting and moving things around
If nobody finds it interesting, they'll just move to something else.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)

fair enough Miss
I've been told! x
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Alt: gonhorrea.
To your mum. Because she deserved it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)

we've discussed this, she's rough!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)

inna jungle

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Is it your birthday?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Yes. I am 37. Bah humbug.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:35, Reply)

You share the same birthday as the evil ex.
The big difference is though that you're considerably less evil and I'm yet to inseminate you. I don't know if daughter's even going to try and wish her a happy birthday today. I'm secretly hoping she doesn't.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Noel thanks for getting my post to the top of the popular page
best present ever :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:37, Reply)

The world needs to know.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I'm going for a fag,
There had better be a better thread by the time I get back.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Worst Gift?
My Ex once got me a scientific calculator for my birthday as he "didn't know what to get" after 12 years together......surpassed only by the Morris Marina Water Pump.Nuff said.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 13:34, Reply)