it's not something i normally eat
as i am never well organised enough to have bread in. but usually muffins or crumpets toasted with really offensive cheddar or blue cheese. and black pepper. and japanenos.

if i'm feeling lazy, the breville sandwich maker, or whack a small slab of cheddar on a plate, 30 secs in microwave, pour over piece of toast, done!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:23, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good dinner this evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)

yes thank you
v civilised. double gym session tomorrow to burn it off! well actually i'll probably walk home given tube strikes in my curvy sole ass toning trainers. lazy fuckers!

how about you, nice weekend?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)

I did a lot of drinking and watched some football.
I roasted some lamb this evening, which was lovely. What dish were you presented with tonight?

Double gym session is just weird if you ask me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)

what veggie stuff did you have with the sheep corpse??
i had a roasted goats cheese and shallot thing. my friend had a red pepper stuffed with some form of meat. it was quite a nice new bar place.

no, i'll go for an hour before work and then either walk home or go for an hour after work - done!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:32, Reply)

That'll mean packing double gym kit.*
With my dead sheep I had minted peas, red cabbage, parsnips and some mashed swede.

Sorry, I didn't know you avoided animal.

*Unless you are dead skanky and are wearing the same thing twice, which I don't believe.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:35, Reply)

just fussy
if i liked it, i'd hoon it.

the flat is about 2 mins from the gym, so i will just need to pop back in to change!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:43, Reply)

I've got a mate who avoids animal based on taste.
What is the obsession with keep-fit? Health or vanity?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)

bit of both!
i used to be a real gym-bunny, then stopped going because - well, without getting too emo or confessional, my vile ex was both mentally and physically violent about it, and i didn't go for a long time. so i'm only just enjoying going again, really.

also i have lots of tiny clothes that it's either throw out or slim back into. i'd prefer the latter!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)

**Applauds Swipe**
Sliming back into clothes rather than buying new ones? You've changed!

Sorry to hear about the mental ex. I suppose it goes to show that it's not just women who have spazzy brains. Sorry to hear that violence was involved.

How long does the average gym session last? (I ask that as someone who doesn't do gyms, thanks in no small part to be naturally thin, meaning I can eat and drink what I like without putting on weight).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:53, Reply)

oh no
i still buy new ones too! come on, don't be naive.

my mother, who was very slim and healthy, collapsed whilst exercising with a brain haemorrhage. absolutely no warning, but she died v shortly afterwards. obviously i knew rationally it wasn;t connected to the exercise, but he said awful things about it. then once he'd reduced me to tears or hit me, he'd say blackmaily stuff like "i just worry about you, i don't want you to die."

urgh, how depressing!!! anyway. that is why i am now going a lot, because having started again, i had forgotten how good it makes you feel. i think it's also helping me get over the above, because i never ever talked about it before. i just got more and more unfit!

you and your perfect metabolism can sod off though!!!!!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)

*Smugs up with my wonderful metabolism*
Sorry to hear that, it sounds like it was a shitty time to be Swipe. I have no retrospective advice, thoughts or indeed ill-thought-out jokes to lighten the mood.

Glad to hear that everything is far more positive these days and you've jettisoned the ex. Additionally, sorry to hear about the loss of a parent. Can't have been easy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)

it wasn't the best of times
in hindsight i can't believe i let him do it, but i think i was just so knocked sideways by what had happened, and when he was being nice to me i couldn't imagine how i'd cope with everything without him.

no, losing my mum so young (she was only 54) and so unexpectedly was/is beyond words. but i was lucky to have had the best mum in the world whilst i had her, and we were v close, which helps a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:05, Reply)

I pleased to hear you've nothing
But brilliant memories of your mother.

Any contact with your ex these days? Surely you must want to know just how badly his life is going for the amusement?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:09, Reply)

well
oddly enough he called me the other day after about 3 years, wanting to tell me that married life ain't all that, and wondering if i wanted to pop over for the afternoon. he'd changed his number or i wouldn't have taken the call.

again oddly enough i was busy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:11, Reply)

What a twat.
He could have phoned me and I'd have told him married life is gash.

I'm not surprised you were busy. The number of weekends you seem to spend in work suggests to me you are very busy.*

*I've done it again haven't I? I've missed the point.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

yes
yes you have!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)

It's not even endearing anymore either.
I don't know why I do it.

*Puts a cat in a wheelie bin*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)

it's ok
you're a man. it's what you things DO.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)

*Sad face*
:-(
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:27, Reply)

ha sorry
and on that note, it's bedtime, given that i have to get up at 6 thanks to bob crow. man i hope his face meets a shovel at high speed and that someone films it.

sleep well!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:34, Reply)

My mum uses the 'melt cheese first then put on toast/bread' method
I wonder if you're like a young verson of my mum in other ways.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:46, Reply)

i am a northerner

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)

I need more info!
Have you ever worn clogs? (I mean sexy ones, not northern male clogdancer ones.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)

Sexy clogs?!?!
the stench of lies!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:00, Reply)

not since i was very little
my dad reckons he had to wear them though.

i do have a duffel coat, does that count?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:02, Reply)

No.
My mum was a bit of a sexpot in her day.
I was wondering if this cheese melty thing had a correlation.
Do you have OCD?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:04, Reply)

i always thought i was too lazy for ocd
but my psychologist friend sam (who oddly enough just started her phd at liverpool uni!) tells me that everyone has it to some degree. i thought about it, and she is right. eg the volume on tv/stereo etc has to be on an odd number, if i find a series of books i like, i can't rest until i have them all, in the right order and in matching covers, on my shelf etc.

i think your mother is just practical and sensible, naturally.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)

Yup
I'm a higgledy-piggledy girl, but even that has to follow ordered chaos rules. We are all a bit OCD.
And if your friend needs any library fines sorting, let me know.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)

same here
i don't mind a bit of untidy but it has to be clean underneath!

ooh thanks. i should send her in to introduce herself, except that she has appeared in a few stories of mine on /qotw and it didn't go down well that i had shared them when she found them!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)

Did your duffel coat
Have mitten that were threaded through the sleeves on a bit of wool so you wouldn't lose them?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:05, Reply)

haha
when i was a child, it did.

fuck i hated that itchy woolly coat with the spakka buttons. and it was brown. urgh.

the one i have now is much classier. although it is still brown-ish (mocha).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)

I've still got my mittens on a bit of string.
I'm 36.

I'm hoping next year I'll be allowed to look after my own gloves.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Can I look after my own gloves? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)

i just don't get the point of mittens
you can't do anything. might as well be wearing the pink boxing gloves.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)

hehehehehehe
How are the gloves? I won't ask you how they fit as I sense the reply from Bristol.

Got much use out of them?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)

i am waiting
for the boxing punch tube thing to arrive. stupid john lewis, they said up to 2 weeks, well, it's been 9 days, where is my punchbag???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

Within 5 days of delivery?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

yes but i wanted it on the day
if i didn't have such a vanity sportscar i could have done the store collection thing. but it wouldn't fit. now here i am, tubeless.

roar.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)

Why not get the rage
And hit the streets with some vanity-based-vigulante-style-justice?

I can see that working.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)