Happy B3taday old boy.
As a young teen I appeared on a Saturday morning children's show called TISWAS hosted by celebrity twat Chris Tarrant. I got to throw stuff at Elvis Costello and Cozy Powell as well as have a lusty look down Sally James' cleavage. (She was the hot presenter that used to wear basques and wet t-shirts, much to the delight of hormonally charged teens across the nation.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 9:37, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am extremely jealous of this.
I would have loved to throw stuff at Costello and have looked at Sally's tits. The extent of my jealousy has put my in a seriously bad mood. You lucky bastard.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 9:40, Reply)

My family watched it and said...
...it was totally obvious that I was gawping at her boobs. She was sat at a desk and I was standing behind her with a massive grin, leaning forward and trying to cop a nipple.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 9:52, Reply)

You are GRATE AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Excellent work.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 9:55, Reply)

That has knocked my forthcoming TV appearance into a cocked hat
An expression which I've never understood but enjoy anyway
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 9:44, Reply)