Since we're on the subject of job applications
I'm filling in one* myself. It's one of those annoying ones where they give you a set of itemised criteria and expect you to give an answer for each one. Unfortunately, whilst the first five or six made sense, I cannot fill in the remaining three because I have no idea what
"Potential to identify development opportunities," or
"Ability to contribute to administration,"
let alone
"Practical application of equality and diversity"
are supposed to mean.

Any ideas?

Alt Q: Why do people write this sort of horse-shit on application forms in the first place?

*_{An application form, not another man's bottom.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 16:57, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

easy
"Potential to identify development opportunities," means browse the net to find training courses.
"Ability to contribute to administration," can use photocopier/excel
"Practical application of equality and diversity" means is not activley racist, put "some of my friends are black" but in a application friendly way.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Something along the lines of
"I am pleased to see the company's commitment to diversity and equal opportunities in the workplace. In my own experience, I have found it a satisfying task to teach not only decent British kids but also a variety of paddies, frogs, krauts, nig-nogs, chinks and pakis."?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:03, Reply)

And women.
Oh wait, you're in Physics.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Could you squeeze "towelheads" in there - to show full cultural awareness.

(Cave Duck, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:11, Reply)

"...although I draw the line at Gyppoes."

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:12, Reply)

"You wouldn't build a lab in a fucking caravan so I don't see why they should be allowed into mine."

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:17, Reply)

"I fail to see the benefits to science
in leaving a burnt out fridge in a lay-by and stealing all the local children's bicycles as you pass through town with the fair"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:20, Reply)

"Potential to identify development opportunities":
tell them you've spent the afternoon looking at serial killer websites developing a massive rod-on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Oh hello Boycey.
How's tricks?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Fucking Merde.
I am ill. And not in the 'Beastie Boys' sense, either.

Even a 'nommy sossy sammich' failed to raise me from my torpor.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm also a little under the weather myself. Get better soon.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Likewise.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Are you coming on Friday?
You better fucking be.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Yes, but not for too long.
I'm taking my daughter to a birthday party the next morning.

Plus, you're all bent and I don't want to catch anything.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Excellent news.
For you coming, and the daughter thing. Looking forward to it :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Now this is a good idea
I may also adopt the "Edmund" approach and send them photographic proof of this, just to really make my application stand out _{like the front of my trousers.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Telling them you're 'tenting like Black's Camping Shop in the first warm weekend of May'
will show them creativity with language, a sense of humour and, most vitally, that you get a chub-on at the thought of dismembered prostitutes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:18, Reply)

^ This is a superb metaphor - not sure whether I like this better or the Ian Huntley picture.
Wish I'd had it to hand* when I was writing the other application for which I needed to show evidence of a good writing style.

*_{LIKE MY COCK}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Top tip: the more incomprehensible the bollocks on a job application, the more pointless the job.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Or, if a friend who already works there is to be believed,
the more of a waste of space the daft bint managing the department and writing the job adverts.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Deep joy, as the wonderful Stanley Unwin would have put it.
The local ne'er-do-wells have discovered that fireworks are now on sale to minors.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 17:50, Reply)