He'd been in once or twice before, pissed off his tits
Yelling "play some Jimi you wankahs" at whoever was on the stage and occasionally trying to grab the mic himself. Previously he was just a nuisance, but last week he came very close to starting two fights. I've no idea what prompted the first one, thankfully that was defused. The second one was with the landlord, who cuffed him round the head and ejected him quite forcefully but, I suspect, knew better than to actually lamp him. (Shame, because I think most of us would have happily held the twat still if he were going to)

I saw the guy who runs the jam the following night: apparently drunkpikey had also, for some unknown reason, tried to slip a quantity of weed into the guy's back pocket.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:48, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh dear.
Doesn't sound like the typical Hendrix fan.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)

I don't think he is.
As after the first week I encountered him, he asked me whether I knew any Oasis. I don't know how wise it was to give him the contemptuous look that I did.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:50, Reply)

Tell him there's a great one outside Dakkar
then turn round and take a shit on his shoes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Haha! In hindsight, I should have responded with
"No, but I know a chap who's pissed on Noel Gallagher's shoes."

(Before having a dump on his, obviously)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:54, Reply)

There's clearly something about Oasis
that screams 'excrete onto some shoes NOW'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:55, Reply)

This is possibly the funniest thing I have read all day
I may have to borrow this for future occasions when called to comment on their 'music.'
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Help yourself, my dear fellow.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Perhaps you should compile a book of little vignettes like this
There are no end of shit bands that could do with similar descriptions, and I imagine you could fill a whole chapter on wonky-eyed bender Bowie.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:08, Reply)

I would imagine you're right.
'Shit Music: A History' by Montgomery Boyce.

Right I'm off: see ya
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Cheerio!
Have a top evening.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:10, Reply)

I've been cuffed around the head by a landlord.
It hurts :(
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 17:56, Reply)

What did you do to deserve that?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)

Aged 19, got to the bar at my mate's local pub, we stuck £60 behind the bar and proceeded to get completely battered on vodka and blackcurrant cordials.
I was so pissed by ten o'clock that I slipped over in the gents, grabbed hold of the door handle to stop myself going over and pulled the door off its hinges, resulting in a passed-out, bloody splintered mess in the middle of the bogs. He ended up giving us a three-mile lift home because it was pissing it down outside and we were determined to walk. We went in the next day to apologise and he proper smacked us both upside the head before giving us our pints.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:14, Reply)

Wow.
Ok, I can see why he might have been a tad peeved with you...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Nov 2010, 18:18, Reply)