Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear...
Various painful ear stories!

A few christmases back I had a very bad cold and all the sniffing of lovely thick grog had resulted in my ears becoming quite blocked. That combined with poor fingernail maintainence and intensive pinkying my earhole resulted in an excruciating pop. Yes! I perforated my eardrum still couldn't here anything and was in pain that ibprofen and paracetomal couldnt cure! I've still not learned my lesson though, nothing gives me greater pleasure than pinkying a great golden nugget out my ear.

Friend told me this one...

Friend of a friends aunties second detached cousin in laws wife (and so on) had a bad habbit of putting cotton buds in her ears and leaving them there. One drunken night she cleaned her ears, left the cotton bud there done a bit of farting about as one does after a few cheeky waters and then jumped onto her bed with cotton bud weilding ear landing on the pillow sending the cotton bud into her ear like a cow slaughter bolt thingy majig. I was told there was a lot of interesting pussy colours on her pillow. Being a person of the variety that doesnt learn her lessons she done it again with the exception of rather than jumping on the bed she answered a phone with a cotton bud in her ear....

yes..

Be gentle I dont do this often :)
(ukraine space monkey, Sun 1 Aug 2010, 15:58, 2 replies)

Oh Pus-sy colours! Silly me!
(Roddimus_Prime Should be revising, Sun 1 Aug 2010, 21:04, closed)

click
for your mate answering the phone with a cotton bud in her ear. That's almost as absent-minded as holding a hot iron on your ear when the phone rings while you're ironing.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 12:15, closed)