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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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Oh crikey - the girl who got run over.
I'd completely forgotten this one...

My parents used to ask me every day "so how was school today?" and obviously the fairly mundane stories of maths, spelling, P.E. and all the rest got a bit repetitive. During a particularly uninteresting season when I was about six years old, I started making things up. Mostly small things: Christopher got into trouble, Emma brought her pet rabbit to school, we went on a nature walk and saw some bees, that kind of thing.

One day I got home, my parents asked the question and I answered "oh, a little girl got knocked over by a car outside school and died." This was complete fabrication but to my six-year-old mind seemed not entirely unfeasible. My parents, of course, were shocked and asked for more details so naturally I invented some: it was Robbie's mum, she was driving too fast, it was one of the girls in reception, she'd crossed the road without looking, the car had run her over, some people saw it happen and lots of children screamed, all that sort of thing that came rapidly to my road-safety-fed and imaginative small child's mind.

I think it was the exertion of the hasty invention that made me seem a bit reluctant to talk further, so my parents stopped asking me any more questions and I toddled off up to my room. My parents, thinking I was in shock and of course not doubting my account, phoned the school - the number was engaged. So they called other parents, asking if anyone knew anything more about the little girl killed outside school today. I sat in my room, happily playing with Lego and blissfully unaware of the dramatic Chinese whispers-like panic, gossip and search for answers rapidly propagating along the telephone lines of the parents of infants in my year all now hastily calling each other. The school telephone remained engaged.

It was only the following morning, when I'd completely forgotten about my lie and was taken to school by my dad as usual on his way to work, that we saw a huge throng of parents and journalists waiting outside the school gates, some with bunches of flowers to place outside the school, being confronted by a very bewildered head teacher who was being accused of trying to deny everything and stage some sort of cover-up.

Fortunately, somewhere in the midst of all the phone calls and drama the night before, the original source of the utter lie had somehow been forgotten - by everyone except my dad. He said very little as he left me at the school gates but I vividly remember the huge and lengthy shouting-at session (of course accompanied by having no dinner) I got from both parents when I got home that night, on how and why lying was bad and wrong and how if they ever caught me lying again they would tell the whole school where the story of the run-over girl came from...
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 14:52, 10 replies)
I like!
Have a click.
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 15:01, closed)
This is brilliant
And has to win. Click!
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 15:11, closed)
Shame they didn't see the funny side!
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 15:19, closed)
You bad, bad person
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 15:21, closed)
Full of win
At least you learnt the consequences at an early age. You'd be on Big Brother now otherwise...
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:22, closed)
You are a disgrace!!!
Why can't you act your age?

Ah yes, you were.

Best havvy clicky then.
(, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 19:20, closed)
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 11:51, closed)
He he!
Brilliant - click!
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 13:12, closed)
There's some good ones this week.
I thought this might be the case.

Clicks for you, too.
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 16:37, closed)
Full of win
(, Fri 13 Aug 2010, 18:20, closed)

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