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Today, they day before I fly out to the Caribbean on holiday, my left index finger got pulled into a circular saw. :(

It's a slice from the tip to the nail bed, up the finger, through the bone. There's a fair chance it'll have to come off when I return.

Catching a finger in a saw is a dumb as fuck thing to do, so I'm looking for a better excuse for the injury. Right now all I can come up with is 'shark attack'. Anyone got any better ideas?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 17 Aug 2010, 17:56, 15 replies)

Dirty growler.
Equates to sandpaper damage.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 18:17, closed)

vagina dentata
like in that film, only less shit
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 18:46, closed)

this one gets my vote (but not my fingers)
( evil_chutney, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 21:23, closed)

I did that once when a warped board sprung as I was using my miter saw.
The fact that it happened isn't so bad, so long as you explain it in terms of "it was a really technical cut"; "I was using a unique piece of wood salvaged from a 15th Century Spanish galleon"; "I was sawing off a finger of a stool pigeon and he cut me with his shoe razor".

After it was bandaged I changed the focus from my carelessness to how tough I was because it was a naaasssty cut and look how well I'm coping. Good for sympathy.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 19:39, closed)

"I was sawing off a finger of a stool pigeon and he cut me with his shoe razor".
This is the one I'm gonna go with.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 17 Aug 2010, 22:13, closed)

Ok. So you were out in your Honda Accord, cruising, when you saw a ninja pimp slapping his ho's around. You powerslide to the kerb, leap out of your car and grab the pimp by the hair. You swing him around a few times and let go. He goes flying into a wall knocks himself out for a few seconds. In the meantime, you shag a few of his ho's on the bonnet of your Accord. He wakes up and is so pissed off at seeing you getting a free shag from his birds he lobs a throwing star at you. You look up, see the throwing star coming at you, do a matrix style dodge while receiving a blowjob (choking the ho with your massive cock) lifting your hand to catch the throwing star. You catch it, slicing your finger in the process and lob it back at him. Because of your awesome strength, it goes right through his head and he dies instantly. The ho's are so grateful they shag you some more.

And the rest is history.
(Freakmandu, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 20:17, closed)

That's bound to help the dinner with grandma & grampa go really well.

( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 20:23, closed)

This story needs more massive drugs

( lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 8:44, closed)

pic?

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 20:51, closed)

Of his finger or his Honda Accord antics?

( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 20:54, closed)

I'm not stripping off

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 17 Aug 2010, 22:10, closed)

couple of googly eyes, and you have youself a kickass fingermouse.

When life gives you lemons, etc...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 2:21, closed)

fingered a cylon
but she wasn't correctly debarred
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 22:12, closed)

I bet there's a Remington device for that job

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 17 Aug 2010, 22:15, closed)

anal sex

(patchsticles Me and you, elbow fetish club:, Tue 17 Aug 2010, 23:42, closed)