Charity Wankers
Now i'm generally a fairly amiable chappie but what really gets my goat is when I'm wandering through town and I get pounced on by people trying to get money for all number of things...Cancer Research, NSPCC, Shelter, the list is endless. Now I have no problem with these charities (I'm not a complete c*nt), they do a bloody good job BUT when the bastards follow you down the highstreet making a scene I get the urge to turn around and deck 'em. Charities are fine but don't make me feel like the fucking spawn of satan if I don't give you my credit card details GRR!
(Freak on a Leash is jerking off to centre himself on, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:36, 5 replies)

A fun game to play
if you've got a few spare minutes.

This works best with cute and idealistic-looking young ladies.

Stop and listen to the fucking chuggers. Agree that their cause is worthwhile. Nod and smile throughout their "genuine" and "heartfelt" description of the charity in question, and thank them for opening your eyes to the plight of whatever they're blathering on about.

Finally, they will ask for your credit card details to set up a direct debit. Look them in the eye and say "I'm sorry, but I can't possibly sign up." Because they are a bunch of fucknuts, they will inevitably refuse to accept a simple no and will demand you explain yourself. At this point, you can grin brightly and say "Well, it's probably because I'm a cunt."

The look on their little faces is priceless.

An alternative is to explain that all your disposable income is going to the most pointless charity you can imagine. When mixing it up like this, I like to tell them that I help to fund the Cheshunt Wasp Hospital.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 May 2008, 11:39, closed)

Well...
I signed up to support Amnesty through one of these guys when I first came to the smoke... and now consider it the best payment I make once a month... a cry of 'sorry I give to Amnesty' or whichever one you fancy to be honest generally gets a smile and a thank you as you move on your way...

They're all students trying to earn some cash anyway...
(fatharry, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:05, closed)

@ wellgroomedwookie
Tried your tactic only half an hour ago. You were 100% spot on. Absolutely fucking priceless
(Freak on a Leash is jerking off to centre himself on, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:38, closed)

they are bastards...
I was approached by GOSH (a childrens hospital at Grt Ormond Street) and agreed to give them a fiver a month because I thought it was worthwhile.

Apparently no. The minimum they will allow you to give is £8 per month. Charity? Theiving bastards more like...

(this is more likely that they only get commission if it is over £8).

All this does is give the charity a bad reputation...
(aroe_m0rre, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:32, closed)

oxfam
pay their chuggers £8.50 an hour...
(saf, Tue 6 May 2008, 13:46, closed)