I work at an Indian restaurant most nights
So my pet peeve....BAD CUSTOMERS

People who think it's funny to order in an Indian accent and take the piss. It's not funny, you look like a twat and do you really think it's a good idea to antagonise the people who are about to prepare your food?

People who come in and say "Um, I'll get the one I had last time...It was orange". That's wonderful sir, we serve 20 different curries and 15 of them could be described as orange. I'm happy to reccommend dishes but I'm not a mind reader, I don't know what you want. You do.

People who say "Will I be able to handle the spicyness?". See above. I'm not a mindreader, I don't know your palate. I take my curry really hot, so saying "Oh, however you take it" is not going to produce the results you want. All you have to say is mild, medium or hot. Nothing complicated about it.


ALSO, people who order a dish and upon seeing it, decide they don't want it and shouldn't have to pay for it. THAT'S NOT MY FAULT. If you ask for a hot chicken vindaloo, I will give you a hot chicken vindaloo and you can bloody well pay for a hot chicken vindaloo. It's not my fault that you don't know your tastes well enough. It's not my fault that you order it too hot for your own good, or suddenly remember you're vegetarian, and I'm certainly not going to give you a discount for being so fucking dumb.

ALLERGIES: People with severe allergies, I understand that it's be hard to eat out. That's fine by me. Tell me about it and I'll help you out, I'll get a dish made without coriander, or cream or whatever. I don't have a problem with that. But do not get angry at me if you only tell me about your nut allergy as I'm putting your korma onto the table. Kormas are made with almonds, and if you had actually read the menu you would know that. No, I can't just 'get rid of all the nuts in it', I can't unmake it. It doesn't work like that, and if you're gonna choke from eating those nuts, don't bloody well order them.

As someone said before, people who ask for unnecessary things, i.e fresh orange juice. What do you think, that we serve 2 types of orange juice? One that's mouldy and gross and one that's fresh?

Brits who think they're better qualified on curry than Indians. Mainly I love the brits, but saying "oi, I'm from England I know that tikka masala doesn't have coriander in it!!" just makes you look like a twat. Tikka masala does have coriander in it, and newsflash, curry did not originate in Britain. Don't argue with the experts.

Sleazy old men. I'm 16, young enough to be your granddaughter, keep your hands off me. Do you honestly think that a fat, drunk, sweaty, leering old man is going to turn me on? Do you actually think that by grabbing my arse and winking at me, that you'll get a date? Your wife is sitting there looking ashamed of you, and the rest of the restaurant thinks you look like a lecherous old cunt. Stick to your own age.



On the other hand, if you are polite to me, you don't act like an arrogant twat and you treat me with respect, I will go out of my way to make your meal a good one. Drinks will disappear from your bill, we'll give you extra naan bread for no charge, you'll be served in record time. It's not hard to be decent and the rewards will be noticeable. Good customers, you really are appreciated!
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Fri 2 May 2008, 2:22, 4 replies)

Nice Rant
But a couple of points.

There is no standard recipe for masala. In fact, the word actually means "mixture of spices".

And Britain's favourite Indian dish, Chicken Tika Masala actually originated in Glasgow (allegedly) - but it was an Indian chef who invented it.

Balti's were invented in Birmingham and Chop-Suey was invented in San Fransisco.

And yes, the Indians did invent curry but I bet you didn't know that Indian cooking didn't even know what a chilli was until about 1850. Chilli's come from South America originally.

See! B3ta is both entertaining and informative.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:21, closed)

^^
excellent response (I didn't know that about chillis), but why do I get the feeling if you go to trashbox's restaurant you might end up with something in your curry you didn't order!
( Bazongaloid, Fri 2 May 2008, 10:55, closed)

The reason that people ask for fresh orange juice...
..is to distinguish it from the the pikey Happy Shopper made from concentrate muck which you are happy to sell them at 200% mark up.
(Troutbiscuits, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:26, closed)

Interesting
Good points Legless, always fascinating to learn something new. But the tikka masala is just one example - we get people arguing about all sorts of things, because "I'm a Brit so I'm the expert". Just pisses me off.
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Sun 4 May 2008, 3:27, closed)