3)
People who take to long at cash machines

They exist purely to dole out money.

Approach cash machine, insert card, type in pin number, select check balance, on screen, go back to main page, select cash, select amount, do not get a receipt, take card , take cash, leave. Thats it, 45 seconds maximum.

The ONLY other thing that should take place is thus

Approach cash machine, insert card, type in pin number, select check balance, on screen, go "well that doesn't look right", go back to main screen, select Print mini statement, look at mini statement, go "oh yes, thats ok then" and proceed to withdrawing cash OR go "Oh fuck", remove card and proceed to nearest bank. 60-90 seconds maximum,



DO NOT stand there like a fucking bump on a log wondering about direct debits, what day it is, why your balance does not add up, working out how much you might have spent yesterday and DO NOT change your pin number, order a statment, press every damn button on the screen, take out card, insert another card, get the pin numbers confused, take out card, insert first card, use second cards pin number, get confused, look in wallet, remove card, insert third card, enter 3 wrong pin numbers, get angry, insert first card, get pin number eventually after muttering "now whose date of birth did i use?" print a balance, print a receipt, throw it away and eventually wander off.

Just. Go. Into. The. Fucking. Bank. You. Stupid. fucking. Cunt.
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 2 May 2008, 12:18, 2 replies)

I can remember at least one occasion on which
there were two young lasses pissing about forever at the cash machine on the side of Barclays in Normanton, while there was a queue steadily building up behind them... oh, and it was absolutely pissing it down (this was round about the time of the floods last summer) and I had the misfortune to be stood directly underneath the downspout, which was dripping on my head.

That got me very irritated.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 2 May 2008, 21:05, closed)

Next time this happens...
...just shout,"What're you doing, typing a fucking book on there?"
(Troutbiscuits, Mon 5 May 2008, 21:12, closed)