Now with hydro-nulceo-repairo-regenerol
Is it just me or is the quantity of psuedo-scientific bullshit in cosmetics/hair product ads reaching epidemic proportions?

Man in Suit 1: Right, we need to come up with a new product to sell to stupid people.
Man in Suit 2: OK, we need something to distinguish it from the others. Any ideas?
Man in Suit 3: We could say we've included "Retinol", which is just vitamin A but sounds like some kind of wonder drug?
MiS1: Nah, we tried that before, you know, the one with that actress we overdubbed. We need innovation, people!
MiS2: How about the new wonder ingredient "Di-Hydrogen Oxide", scientifically proven for its cleansing and moisturising effects?
MiS3: You mean water?
MiS2: Well, yes, but if we dress it up with a cheap CGI diagram of little blue balls going into the skin and making it glow, no-one will notice.
MiS1: I like it.
MiS3: We could say "Now with even more Goji Berry Extract". Goji berries do bugger all to your skin, but if we say it loud enough, people will assume it must be a good thing, otherwise why would it be in the advert?
MiS1: Good stuff, people. We need a name, though.
MiS2: Hang on, I'm getting my random cream-name generator fruit machine out [pulls handle on the side]. It suggests "Hydro-Age-Repleno-Lift"
MiS3: It needs "Pro" in there somewhere.
MiS1: "Pro-Hydro-Age-Repleno-Lift" it is. Any tips on the advert?
MiS2: Well we have to say stuff like "Skin Feels Smoother, more moisturised" rather than "Skin *is* smoother or more moisturised", because, erm, that's not technically true.
MiS3: Well, just make sure that that bit is spoken both loudly and quickly so people don't notice. And make sure the little CGI baubles are swirling around or something to distract people.
MiS2: How about we conduct a survey of about 5 very stupid people who think their skin might have got better, and say it's "scientifically proven"?
MiS1: OK, sounds like a plan. I'll get onto the press people and find a vacuous actress who doesn't use the product for us to overdub. It's a wrap people, let's do lunch!
(Axeman Jim, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:51, 8 replies)

I saw an advert once
for some hair product that had added science, apparently.
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Fri 2 May 2008, 13:55, closed)

I liked the one for
DNAge, which "reverses the aging effect on your DNA".
( Cawl, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:02, closed)

*Clickety*
Seen the new one that says the goop (Nivea I think, maybe Vaseline) contains 15% Oxygen?

Wanna bet it contains 30% Hydrogen?
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:14, closed)

^^ Nice!
To be fair, you could market a tub of "Oxygen Free Radicals" and people would rub it into their faces.
( Cawl, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:15, closed)

complete with weasel-word disclaimers
I heard one the other day, on a commercial for an expensive skin lotion: "may reduce the appearance of wrinkles".
- "may"? In other words... "might not"
- "appearance"? What, you mean cover them up, like you can do with makeup? If I was a gurl, I wouldn't pay huge dosh for a change of appearance. For that money, the wrinkle better be GONE, tomorrow, before you put anything else on your skin.
( bnt what, me worry?, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:09, closed)

I was going to mention the one with "15% more oxygen"
I think they should advertise it as "15% less - free!"
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:10, closed)

Oh, I do so agree
Every time these adverts come on, or I see them in the paper I yell "DO THEY THINK WE'RE STUPID?".
To which, the answer is, sadly, yes.
And it's not even advertising MEN thinking WOMEN are stupid, they are having a go at stupid men now, trying to sell them goop too. Grrrrrrrrr
( seeballs Doo da da doo da da doo da da doo, da da doo da do, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:46, closed)

I've seen a bottle stating 'With 50% more shine'
How do they measure that, exactly?
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:51, closed)