AMERICANS
allow me to explain...

ready for a sad, wee story?

are you sitting comfortably? then i shall begin...

a few years ago, cracking under the pressure of a somewhat inevitable divorce, i packed a bag, donned my helmet, strapped the monkey (wooly monkey from the monkey sanctuary at looe in cornwall) onto the pillion seat and sped off into the distance for a month of transeuropean motorbiking escapism.

oh what fun angus and i had, barrelling down the autobahn at 140mph, eating bratwurst in the shade of the rathaus, zipping back and forth across alpine passes and generally doing what i wanted when i wanted.

and then i met her. a colombian stunner. seriously. and she kidnapped my wee angus and took him to switzerland and told me if i ever wanted to see my monkey again i would need to track her down and pay a visit. which is how she came to be known as mononapper (mono is spanish for monkey), or MNP for short.

so it was kind of handy that she made sure i had her address, phone number and so forth.

concerned for the wellbeing of my furry sidekick i mounted a rescue bid and hot footed my way to bern.

one of my better decisions...

i stayed with MNP for about a week, and what a week it was. i spent my days exploring the swiss hinterland on some of the best tarmac in europe and my nights exploring south america, so to speak.

which is where it gets relevent, just in case you were starting to wonder...

one evening we were on our way back from a lovely meal when, during a conversation about cultural and national differences MNP asked me what i would call someone from the USA.

my all too obvious answer was "an american, of course".

MNP was not impressed, pointing out that only a gringo would think that. after all america is a pair of continents and not a country. the arrogance of it! how would i like it if people reffered to me (a scot and proud of it) as simply european, putting me in the same bundle as the english?

fair point.

so the search was on to find the correct word, meaning someone from the USA and only that.

Yank won't do, it means someone from the northeastern states (i think!). american won't do cos it's not specific enough.

the only logical answer was (and i believe remains) UNITED STATESER.

think about it.

so a bit of a long distance romance ensued which was sadly cut short when MNP, holidaying in sri lanka, was amongst those killed by the tsunami.

so join with me and honour her memory. let's start a campaign to call them what they are, united statesers one and all!

and i never did get my monkey back.

sniffs and cries a bit.

length? 5,500 miles in 4 1/2 weeks.
girth? the entire circumference of the alps.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 4 May 2008, 11:34, 9 replies)

Lovely story, and an interesting opinion, bit sad at the end,
but I click this. *hugs*
( ..wil, Sun 4 May 2008, 11:41, closed)

fanks wil
still makes me sad but hurts a bit less now i've shared it!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 4 May 2008, 11:47, closed)

I was expecting
a ruder reply than united stateser

Maybe the whole american thing is just a form of cultural imperialism

The US saying to the rest of the continents - "You are all my bitches"
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Sun 4 May 2008, 12:43, closed)

magic cat
that was exactly the point that mnp was at. a country so arrogant that they insist on stealing the name of an entire continent and shoving it down everyones throats!
FLONGTARDS!!

and sorry it wasn't ruder x
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 4 May 2008, 12:51, closed)

yeah, but...
That's cumbersome - you'll have to shorten it to use it in everyday speech. Yank is acceptable. What is important to remember is that the country's official name is the United States of America - these states, over here, in America, are united. Well not really but in theory, anyway - I don't pretend to understand it, but I think it has more to do with simple laziness than with any sense of imperialism. Anyway, you can also call us by our state - I have had the honor of being a New Mexican (which causes no end of confusion in certain quarters) and a Nevadan. United Stateser is ugly - and it would also apply to Mexicans, who live in the Mexican United States (Los Estados Unidos de Mexico)

Sorry for your loss though - that must have been horrible. I feel terrible for you.
(aeon chicken Like the Millenium Falcon, only slower and noisier, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:35, closed)

i agree with eon chicken
we should shorten it how about ...

"shitthickfatwarmongeringilliteratecunts"

works for me
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:27, closed)

^aeon chicken^
yeah it is cumbersome, i'll give you that.

however, does Yank fit the bill? not if you come from florida or montana it doesn't. being pedantic maybe but you know i'm right.

as for mexico, well i can't really agree with you there. as you said yourself, the united states of mexico are actually called Los Estados Unidos de Mexico which i'm sure you'll agree isn't in english.

but i think i have come up with an abreviation that fits the bill...

how about USERS, pronounced YOU-SIRS?

as it stands, americans could come from anywhere between ellesmere island and tierra del fuego. the english language can do a lot better than that!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 5 May 2008, 15:42, closed)

but...
If someone called me a European, they would be entirelly correct, not ver particular, but correct. Same as if someone called me British, Scottish or Aberdonian. All correct, just in varying degree's of accuracy

American would technically cover everyone from the continent of America, North or South. The you would probably have to split it down to North/South American

North American would probably do pretty well as an official term for Yanks (which works fine for half the continent, can be construed as abuse for the other half) since Canadians just seem to prefer you don't mention America in the same name... (apologies if I have forgotten any other inhabitants of the continent of North America)
(442, Wed 7 May 2008, 10:20, closed)

missing the point...
the question originally posed was what to call someone from the united states of america, not the continents of north and south america. the search is for a name for someone from the USA and only the USA.

american is just so vague.

to call you european is accurate. to call you british more so. etc.

to suggest you may be english? is that not just plain insulting?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 7 May 2008, 19:42, closed)