You can laugh about it or cry about it
I have a little list - they will never be missed:

People who don't do any research and make claims about random percentages of populations doing something a certain way.

People who think I should care about their concerns - here's a hint, anyone who pretends to be sympathetic without actually taking up your cause, is just pretending long enough to get you away from them. If I am concerned about something, I'll research it.

People who ask me if I "believe" in certain things; such as God, abortion, evolution, global warming...the answer is no. I accept facts, support rational concepts and work for causes that I believe have social and civic value. I believe in being kind to nice and small people. I believe in helping those who want and need my help. My moral compass does not swing to believe in things that either are factual concepts or are obviously irrelevant.

I despise bullies - always have; and ever since I shot up in height and muscle mass some 15 years ago, I have been all too pleased to show them the error of their ways.

I don't like proselytutes. If your god needs to be sold, then it isn't worth buying. Funnily enough, I also can't stand people who get worked up about some sweet old religious person wishing them a Merry Christmas or telling them to have a blessed day. It's a gift - take it in the spirit it was offered.

Whenever I hear some fella telling me how badly whipped I am, and how much manlier they are than I am, I automatically think "closet case," and "how tragic." Yes, I like women. I am not afraid to admit that I am and always have been fine with educated, thoughtful and self-driven women; even if I don't agree with them, they still attract me. I feel that docility equates duplicity. Like the old saying goes, "...the meek will inherit the earth, in three-by-six plots."

Pacifists. Not anti-war people, or those who object to armed conflict - the concerns of those who oppose war should be listened to before any nation decides to engage another. I'm talking about those bizarre subhumans who won't lift a finger in their own defense or in the defense of others. I feel that those people who rationalize laziness as some sort of ethical or religious choice should be implanted with remote cameras and microphones and dropped into some jungle or desert preserve somewhere, and their trials and inevitable deaths broadcast to a paying and blood-hungry public.

Pets,in general - dogs,cats,birds,fish,rodents,reptiles and amphibians...I get on fine with animals, but they piss and shit everywhere, break things in the middle of the night, and require special food and water. I love other people's pets just fine; and grew up around goats and horses and chickens and snakes, I just hate the idea of pets in my home. Grrr.

Women telling me they are pregnant - I never know exactly what to say. I don't think congratulations are in order for spreading your legs, catching something and deciding to keep it up there till it gets bigger. I have found the best thing I can say is, "oh...how do you feel about that?" And on that riff, I hate when new parents expect me to say anything nicer about their children than "Huh. He kinda looks like Gerald Ford." You do not deserve cheers and hurrays for fulfilling a biological function; but I can be sympathetic.

Little scrawny cocky idiots who try to pick fights with me. I'm on the taller side of average, freakishly broad with a big bullet head, and when I stand up, they back off, talking shit but backing away. That's the other part of them I despise - if you're going to fight me, fight me. Otherwise shut the fuck up - no one is impressed, no one's afraid of you, and I don't fight fair. I'm a nice, amiable guy who likes to sit at the bar and drink beers and laugh a lot, and I don't need to prove anything.

On that note, I hate it when people (even my friends) tell me they are intimidated by me. I try not to intimidate people, and I hate it when I find out it didn't work.

Mormons. Nothing brings out the Vlad Dracul in me like Mormons. It's a long story as to the reasons why, but really, I would not be too upset if terrorists blew up Utah and Missouri.
(aeon chicken Like the Millenium Falcon, only slower and noisier, Sun 4 May 2008, 12:41, 6 replies)

After reading this...
I read the post below,and thought he was accusing Mormons of spitting on the street.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Sun 4 May 2008, 12:51, closed)

Go on
Tell us about the Mormons

It'll be therapeutic
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Sun 4 May 2008, 12:52, closed)

Is it
something to do with The Osmonds?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Sun 4 May 2008, 12:59, closed)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh the Osmonds
*flashbacks to scarred childhood*

The teeth, the teeth. They'll eat me!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Sun 4 May 2008, 13:01, closed)

err
I think I like this guy - even if he's 'merkin.

Even better, he sounds like a 'merkin who can drink.

I'll never forget a night on the piss, in England, with some of my 'merkin colleagues.

We'd been in a bar/restaurant for about three hours, when a guy I spoke to, most days, as we handed over responsibility for our global network to his team:

sotto: "Legless - have you got a drink problem......."

In three hours I'd had one beer and 2 glasses of wine....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 4 May 2008, 13:34, closed)

Haha no...
Really, I typed the story out strictly out of curiosity and it is far too huge to post here. I'll boil it down - their family values include keeping silent about physical and sexual abuse regardless of who is suffering and what the law requires. They place themselves, wherever they are, in government positions to hide and remove evidence of family abuse. My parents left that church a long time ago because of a shit-hurricane that was unleashed on them by the church and the influence its members wielded. It happened where I used to live, and it happens where I live now. The faith seems to exist exclusively to protect abusers and paedos. What kills me is that because my old Dad is getting long in the tooth he is starting to feel his mortality. As a result, he decided last year to return to the church; regardless of the no-two-ways-about-it evil that they propagate. He has dragged my mother, who was excommunicated for defying them, back to the church, where she found out that she wasn't ever actually excommunicated - so they lied about that, too.

I'd curb the Osmonds if I ever got the chance, but only on principle, and frankly, I think their teeth would chip the concrete before the other way round.

Legless - I don't get it. I don't binge drink - because it's too expensive, but people look at me weird if I decide to have a few with dinner. If I'm not driving, I'm drinking. My attitude towards alcohol comes from my once-and-future Mormon parents, who had drinks with dinner and drinks on weekends and shared them with us kids. I like beer. I like whiskey, and vodka, and wine (even though I have a sulfite sensitivity, I still like it)
I think it comes from the idea that drinking at all is indicative of an intention to binge drink - which, sometimes, is completely true. It doesn't mean I am an alcoholic; I just don't see anything wrong with it. I don't have an addictive personality. But I do get stared at for ordering a beer FFS it's a beer, bread soda with less alcohol than a shot of vodka and healthier for me than the Cokes and Mountain Dews my friends are guzzling. So here's a glass raised in your honor, sir, and I can honestly say I don't understand these guys either - I don't know where they come from.
(aeon chicken Like the Millenium Falcon, only slower and noisier, Sun 4 May 2008, 22:44, closed)