Vegans
Not your run of the mill vegans, the fucking military hardcore wing that detests all things meat, won't even drive through towns with the word 'ham' in the name(thank you Bill Bailey).

Got nothing against vegetarians at all, several friends are vegans (for reasons ranging from health to lifestyle choice) and I do try (it's hard when you have carnivorous habits) to be accommodating to them.

But every now and again I'm thrust into the company of one of these 'warrior of the little animals' types, who will proceed to piss me right off.

ME"I'll have the steak please, rare"
HVF(Hardcore Vegan Fuckwit)"Eeeww, you can't eat that, it's disgusting and cruel!!"
ME"No, it's natural and delicious, as well as my choice."
HVF"But they keep the animals in cruel conditions and kill them in horrible ways, it's cruel and you are cruel by association."
ME"On second thought (pause for effect), make my order a blue steak, walk it past the oven on your way to my table, that should do."

This never solves the problem, but helps me handle the stares of the vegan cunt at the end of the table - who incidentally has ordered a veggie burger. "I won't eat meat, but I want my food to look like meat." WTF????

Length? Who cares, it was 16oz of pure deliciousness, at least that's what she said.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Wed 7 May 2008, 12:14, 9 replies)

Vegetarians
I have a veggie friend who gave up meat because she doesn't like the taste and yet, perversely, likes to eat Quorn and other imitation meat products.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:20, closed)

I Wonder
What vegans taste like?
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:55, closed)

^Legless
Probably a bit like meat-free meat.

And having experienced second hand some of the gaseous by-products of their pale-skinned undernourished bodies I wouldn't eat that.

Not even if stranded on top of a mountain post aircrash, having polished off the other passengers.

There isn't enough ketchup in the world.

'Don't eat yellow snow' has now been joined by 'don't eat the vegans' as useful advice.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:04, closed)

I get on ok with them
As long as they realise that for every animal they don't eat I'll eat two.

The missus is a veggie, I tried to get her to eat a doner kebab the last day when she asked me what was actually in one (Kebabs are not as popular in Ireland as in the UK). I was foiled when my explanation of "Some soy and carrots or some other hippy crap" did not pass muster. Damn it!
(oeb, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:17, closed)

Personally
I like to think that vegans taste like tofu, only because tofu taste shitty, just like their hypocritical attitudes.

Man, apparently I have real issues with this.

*checks into therapy*
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Wed 7 May 2008, 14:19, closed)

you've gone well up in my estimation chucklebuck
vegetarian or any variant thereof = prey animal
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:28, closed)

To be fair
My missus is veggie and she;s cool about me eating meat so I;ve not a got a problem there, but like you Chuckles I cant; stand the militant ones, I mean, what if we told them what to and what not to eat?

'ewww, you can't eat that veg, think of the conditions it was grown in'

Although would be funny!

@Legless:
My missus tastes pretty fine! :)
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:43, closed)

WHEAT IS MURDER
That's what I tell 'em.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:44, closed)

Vegans
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of MEAT?
(kilt101, Wed 7 May 2008, 20:13, closed)