My beer belly
It's a mass of wobbly dimpled yuck, distinctly resembling several kilos of bread dough.
I go to the gym (sporadically).
I walk the dog (daily).
I saved up enough Boots advantage points to "buy" a Slendertone abdominal belt (still in its original packaging somewhere in the wardrobe).
I have neither the sense nor the inclination to reduce my beer intake.

I went for my first mammogram yesterday. Apart from doing a top-to-bottom picture, they also did one left-to-right. In order to achieve this, one has to insert one's boob into the scanner with the torso diagonal to the floor. By far the worst and most excrutiatingly embarassing part involved Belly. The nice radiographer lady only had one pair of hands. She needed one to keep my boob in exactly the right position, one to operate the nasty squeezy clamp thing...
Keeping my belly from slopping into the scanner's base required at least one more hand.
"Here, I'll hold it", I suggested.
"No dear, you can't. I need your left arm at this angle and your right one around that bit."
With the speed of a leopard, using her elbow she deftly achieved simultaneous positioning/clamping.

Oh, the shame.

Getting my tits out in front of three doctors, two nurses, one nice radiographer and another bloke who did the ultrasound scan was peanuts.
But this belly has to go the journey...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:21, 6 replies)

I have a beer belly too
I share your pain.

Was a great few piss-ups though.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:24, closed)

Don't talk to me about bellies ....
I loose weight from my boobs, legs, face and every feckin place on my body but will it shift from my belly. Will it bugger.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:27, closed)

I am most unfortunate
I am a relatively slim build - but all my fat is concentrated onto my belly. I have a great big fat stomach. It looks like I'm pregnant - or a beer belly.

The really annoying thing, however, is... I don't drink. I hate beer. Never had a single glass of it in my life.

Yet, by looking at my body, anyone'd think that I drank daily.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:28, closed)

Fun
Put the abdominal belt or better still, if you have one of those other things with 6 electrode pads, on your forearms, roll your sleeves down, switch it on and pretend to be a spaz for the day.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:33, closed)

I share your pain.
Whenever I put on weight, that's the first place it heads and it's always been the same :( sympathy clicks!
( Maladicta, Wed 7 May 2008, 18:42, closed)

Erm..
What I want to say probably wouldn't go down well. So instead I shall suggest sit ups. Doesn't even have to be a lot. 25 every other night should do the trick. And avoid bread and potatoes.
(Teran Thinks Pogonophobia is funny, Wed 7 May 2008, 21:35, closed)