I have an obscure hobby, which gets me on TV from time to time
Basically, it's so obscure that whenever a newspaper, radio or TV company needs a rent-a-quote on that subject, Google finds me. For the same reason, I can't satisfy your natural curiosity as to what it is, as you'd easily find me and break the "No Personal Details" rule...

Anyhow, as I say from time to time I get hauled in front of the cameras as a tame expert. Or possibly laughable weirdo, I'm not sure. Often it's the news, and if you've never been one of those talking heads that the newsreader goes to for comment, it's an odd experience. You sit in a room in the bowels of the local BBC studios, alone apart from a monitor and a remotely operated camera, waiting for your moment. But they don't give you any prior warning of what the newsreader is going to ask, so you'd better not concentrate on just how many people are on the other side of that glass eye as you desperately ad-lib some kind of hopefully coherent answer...

As I walked out, I realised that I had a slightly obscene T-shirt on, which amused me until I discovered that, unfortunately, the on-screen titles and news ticker had obscured it!

I've also been on a Mastermind spoof, on the Johnny Vaughan show. The idea was that the subjects were too obscure even for Mastermind. This time I was sitting on an exercise bike, for some reason, with a light roasting one ear and a camera shoved so close to my face that I felt like suggesting they put a flavoured condom over it.

The best part of that was that, as a gag for the last show of the series, Magnuss Magnusson himself barged in and took over the questions. Sadly he died shortly afterwards, which means that I'm the last person in the world that he ever said his catchphrase, "I've started so I'll finish," to.*

In both cases, there were potentially millions of people watching, but I managed to put this out of my head, and didn't embarass myself - well, more than the inherent embarrassment of doing what I do, anyway. I have been recognised in the street several times, and even acquired a stalker - though he turned out to be a nice guy, and we're still in touch...


* On TV, at least. He may have said it to his wife at some point after that, I suppose.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:41, 25 replies)

Nice ponytail

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 12:02, closed)

haha mad google skillz there

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 12:08, closed)

your secret's safe with me
*taps nose*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 12:11, closed)

Google skills
better than mine...unless it was something to do with the home video recorder?
(dchurch bah, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 12:22, closed)

Took a while, but
got it eventually.

I shall refrain from stalking.
(username failed moderation, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:51, closed)

Hmmm, I feel like I'm standing on the stage in front of the whole school in my underpants
...quite appropriate for the QOTW, I suppose.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:15, closed)

Nice underpants
;)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:24, closed)

Did you come straight from a cold shower?

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:33, closed)

I can do that, if I hold the shower head in just the right place.
What? Is that not what you meant?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:36, closed)

As soon as i'd typed 'come', i knew it was wrong...

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:43, closed)

I feel dirty for even making a joke that obvious.
But if I hadn't, it would only have been a matter of time anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:46, closed)

I'm just glad I didn't say "...in front of the whole school naked"

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 15:11, closed)

You've got to be fucking kidding
You can't tell a story like that and withhold the exact detail that everyone is going to want to know! You'll get no click from me!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 12:51, closed)

it's not hard to find on google
He trains dogs to pose for those pictures where they play Pool and such like.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:09, closed)

Training them to play pool is easy.
getting them to stay in position while the bloke paints the picture that's the problem.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:20, closed)

Cats are harder - it's a bugger to get them to hold the beer mugs
-- no thumbs, see?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:20, closed)

Are you David Cameron?
He gets dragged out when the TV need a rent-a-quote.

Do i win a prize?
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:31, closed)

No, but Ian Duncan Smith was on the same show
He was a total ligger - obviously came mainly for the free after-party.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:33, closed)

Is your hobby
"Paedophilia"?
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 13:46, closed)

If it was, I don't think I could say it was "obscure enough to find me easily"
And anyway, I suspect that's more of a vocation than a hobby...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:05, closed)

Isn't a vocation something like the priesthoo...oh...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:07, closed)

Gerard Chote?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:07, closed)

Are you a Zeppelin painter?

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 14:15, closed)

No, that's not a zeppelin
...and that's not paint.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 15:12, closed)

Interesting little diversion
Easy enough to find you, but I wish I hadn't found your site the middle of the night. Curiosity overruled sleep once again.
( SteamedCleaner, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 18:33, closed)