I swear to god I didn't make these up.
I am a lvl 8 warrior seeking my adventuring companion for game play and fornication. I partake in only adventure/fantasy role play, no creepy goth stuff, it’s too weird. Only sanctioned spells allowed, costume dress optional but preferred. I have the body of a wandering Norwegian brawler and short brown hair. Please be quite buxom and imaginative for play and enjoy fantasy role play aesthetics. Please send pics, leves, preferred adventure type and spell list. We could go get dinner (under $20), and watch a movie. Also I’m allergic to cats.

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A mere day ago, I cast out my spell of seduction, searching for men true of heart and lustful in their drives who understood the true meaning of "fantasy" and "roleplay".

Alas, the spell was a strong one, for the call was apparently heard 'round the realm; so much that I fear now that my cup (and inbox) runneth over...

I have found my love for now--the one who not only cast the most charismatic photo magick and spoke most eloquently and most Elvishly, but who speaks masterfully of Beowulf, from whence I take my namesake. And so I remove myself, overwhelmed as I am, from this modern etherworld... for now. I thank all of you for your kind words and noble efforts... though, to be fair, this maiden could have done without those many messages affixed with renderings of your coarse nether regions.

Namaarie, rwalaerea. Lle ume quel. Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha.

Tenna' telwan,
Freawaru

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And that, my dear b3tans, is why I'm so fucking glad I'm not dating anymore.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 13 Sep 2007, 18:02, Reply)