Not exactly on topic, but I don't REALLY care.
A while back, I started talking to this guy. He seemed nice enough; attractive, intelligent, funny, ex-Disney animator (bonus, being a girlie girl who still secretly adores The Little Mermaid) and from all accounts, a good guy.
Late one night, I get a call from him asking if I was free the next morning, and if I'd like to meet for coffee. For reasons that are far too dull and convoluted to bother mentioning, my best friend was present at the time of the call AND the next morning...

And that's when the events that triggered these wonderful rules of dating for men happened.


WARNING: This list consists entirely of what not to do.

1. DO NOT laugh inanely at everything said.
2. DO NOT hit the object of your lust, however playfully you may mean it.
3. DO NOT stare hungrily at said girl's ass when she can see you doing it.
4. DO NOT follow the staring looking up at her and winking in such a way as to conjure up images of dirty old men.
5. DO NOT tell your date exactly what you were thinking* whilst participating in #3.
6. DO NOT proceed by announcing that you have an erection and considered putting her hand on it.
7. DO NOT continue to speak like a pervert when you've already been asked** to stop.
8. DO NOT follow this by insulting her best friend, especially when said friend is in earshot.
9. DO NOT conclude the morning by hurling a barrage of insults when you finally realise your advances have been spurned.

And most importantly...

10. DO NOT be a 30-something ex-Disney animator named Ben.


*To quote, "I'd love to tongue your ass."
** Repeatedly.***
*** Verging on beating his face into a bloody pulp to stop it.
( is0lati0n, Thu 13 Sep 2007, 20:14, Reply)