Worst wank ever!!
When I was mad/on anti depressants, and I'd just broken up with the woman who is now known in my family as "the evil one" I decided to get some interweb dating done. "Hey", I thought in my drug addled way, "there's nothing better to restore your self respect than sex with other people" after all I'd tried lots of sex with myself and I had started to get bored with it. Yup, it was that bad, I was bored of masturbation.

So, here goes with the list of dates from Hull...

1) described herself as "auburn" and "slender" so she was a stick thin ginger, who needed a sign on her front to differentiate it from her back. She was the build of a 12 year old boy. After a drink she got me to take her home, and told me her (previously unmentioned son) was in bed and would I like to have sex... I said no... she was the normal one.

2) Nigerian student who only spoke of the Nigerian banking system... for 3 hours... and she never wanted a deposit.

3) Neo Hippy who drove me to a pub, but forgot where it was because she was too stoned. I did mention she was the one driving. I'm not a prude but I like this oxygen habit. Oh, and she had to move her bosom out of the way when she put her lap belt on.

4) Now it's time to remember the Subject line. She was a student nurse, good company, nice girl. One thing lead to another and we ended up "in bed" there was no reason for the "" there, but I thought it built tension. Anyhoo She ran her hand down my chest to my tummy banana, and proceeded to use only up strokes of such violence that it was like she was pulling a cork out of a bottle, I asked her to stop, but it appeared that my penis had done her a terrible wrong and she wanted to exact revenge on it. At one point I thought the skin would split all the way down my back and she'd end up holding a Rockers74 suit. Thankfully she stopped left eventually and I was swollen for 4 days.

I left the site, and never did it again.

Oh and btw this happened in Stoke On Trent... Explains it really.

Length? Never been the same since...
(rockers74 killed a man in Reno just to watch him die., Sat 15 Sep 2007, 17:52, Reply)